Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving Madness

Ah, Thanksgiving Eve. It's always a time of anticipation when my sister is involved but it appears to have gotten even better this year. My brother received an email from my sister and forwarded it to me this morning. She has got to be the most self-centered, bitchy, delusional person I have ever known. Let's review this email, keeping in mind that my sister is almost 28 years old, is not mentally retarded, has no job, and does not go to school. Basically, all she does is live off my parents and is ruining my mother's health literally.

"I think that she could minimize her workload so she could have more time to enjoy herself. She could make appointments at lightening speed and communicate with others plus cut down on all those crappy catalogues that she gets and besides the fact that she could make deposits and the such over the web rather than risk herself getting mugged or something lik Please tell me what you think:)"

By "she", my sister is speaking of my mother. You know the person who she calls and orders to take her here, there, and everywhere at whatever time and day she commands. The person who buys all her groceries, pays her rent and gym membership and cell phone and any gifts that are "given by" my sister. Yeah, she's really concerned about my mother's workload. Actually, she's just irritated that my mother isn't on call for her 24/7 and never wants to be told that my mother can't do something for her. And you know those "crappy catalogues" that my mother gets? My mother enjoys looking at those while she eats lunch and takes a crap but my sister can't fathom that.

"This was something that I saw last night while I was on the Hp site and thought to myself that Mommy really needs, since she has been saying that she is really lonely.I think that this would be a better idea rather than a fancy pantsuit and besides the fact that she could learn how to be more efficent without having to stress her self out.(i.e) if you have looked at your microsoft office 2007 she can make grocery lists, keep track of her bills, do her accounting and other various tasks. Then the fact that the computer happens to be a "digital clutch", kinda like a purse, but much more useful is another great plus. It is a Hp, Vivienne Tam( one of thoses designers' that she likes, and the commercial promoting it is a Indian woman, almost the exact lookalike as the ones that our Godmother Ann painted that she is so fond of. The cover to this laptop has butterflies and is shell pink. It has everything a woman could need, plus the fact that it can fit into her purse or she can carry it like an evening bag. Check it out."

If this was any other than my sister, you may think this is a nice person. That is if you leave out all the bizarre detailed information about designers and the fact that an Indian person in the commercial looks like etc. and for some reason that means my mother needs this thing. Number one, my mother can barely use a cell phone. Number two, my mother is not lonely and even if she's was, she would NEVER tell my sister that because that would just be an invitation for my sister to park herself even more in my mother's daily life. Lastly, she's telling all this to my brother so that HE can buy this $1,000 present for my mom.

"Here's my christmas list I thought you might eye out the jewelery. the juicy necklace and matching bracelet were just some good ideas. feel free to select any of the other pieces or items. hope your day is going well and look forward to seeing on thursday."

I'm sorry, sending your Xmas list to someone who hasn't requested it is just plain rude or delusional or both. He can't even stand being around her, why would he possibly want her Xmas list? And that it's expensive jewelry. But feel free to select any of the other pieces or items. WTF?

"What was the story with Ani how come she wasn"t at i.'s birthday. What is she a what's it? Cause she has definetly got a screw up her ass. Tell her to deposit outside of self more people would appreciate that than say the recycling truck realizes. I do plan on being kind to her and look forward to the choo-choo and chug another making whoopee elsewhere! Love you, just trying to express my feelings and a possible smile somewhere in that lost look you have gotten me despising myself for! "

Ani is Aaron's girlfriend, a really nice girl. She's 18, has a job, goes to school full-time and treats my brother well. And my sister is being really bitchy for no reason. She has always been jealous of his girlfriends, bizarre to say the least and creepy at times. You can't see it but she also called I. by the wrong name. Yeah, she's been alive for 5 years, you'd think she'd know her name by now. Who cares right? I mean, it's not my sister's name so she really doesn't care. And then you can see the level of crazy we're dealing with when we go into the part about choo-choos, chugs, and making whoopee elsewhere.

Yeah, so my brother and I are really looking forward to tomorrow. Looks like it's going to be a real ball of fun. I just hope fights can be avoided, that she lays off my mom or there will be problems, that she doesn't stare at the girls the whole dinner and that my brother and I can find something to laugh about. Some family holidays just have to be approached with low expectations and hope and tomorrow is one of those.

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