So much swirling about. A fire that threatened security and resulted in a packed car just in case for the next few days. A visit to Phoenix that may have helped the kids but made V.'s long term work a reality. A trade off between agonizing back pain to lingering intermittent back pain accompanied by a possible auto immune blood disease that may raise its ugly head again just after getting over it a mere month ago. A long text conversation with an old friend that gave hope for reconnection yet followed by silence. Trying to help I. deal with the big emotional swings of V. being gone during the week and coming home on weekends. Translation: Monday thru Friday is fine but weekends she turns into a unsatisfied, unhappy person who wants nothing but Daddy leading to many miserable moments throughout the weekend. Couple all this with V.'s reticence during weekends or at the few family events with my parents and my frustration multiplies. It's been a lot to handle...A LOT TO HANDLE.
But surrounding these moments are me laughing at the fact that I. started a club at school with who she feels is the mean girl of the class and that club is the "Talk about how you're feeling" group. Being that she doesn't talk about her feelings, I found this remarkable. And with D. singing "I'm so happy" while in the crib and in the car at the top of his lungs...how can you not smile and love that. Don't get me wrong, he's 2 and the defiance and grumpiness can really rear its ugly head and make me feel like I'm living in the land of "NO". But if it's just he and I, we're safely in the land of "I'm so happy", we sing it at the top of our lungs, give kisses, and show each other our open mouth's of food. Shhh....don't tell anyone.
