Like most of my postings, I'm starting this one before giving it a title. It just seems like most of my post titles evolve as I'm writing them. And yes, I've been negligent in my blogging. Part of it is that V. was home for a whole 2 weeks and I was saving my words and thoughts for him - a sort of upload to his brain, as opposed to the blog, while he was still here. But now, yet again he's gone probably for 5 weeks this time...
The other thing that I realized is interfering with my postings is this perceived need to have some sort of epiphany in order to blog. I really don't want my blog to turn into some sort of a Twitter kind of thing - any random thought entering my brain does not need to be broadcast to the world. However, it shouldn't require an epiphany in order to blog. So, I need to find a happy medium between Twitter and epiphanies.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Another Piece of the Mark Puzzle
I've been busy this week battling a sinus infection which has my ears so clogged that they feel like they are painfully on the verge of explosion. No amount of yawning helps - believe me, I've tried. But I wanted to post a small little piece of information that made me happy.
Mark's wife called this evening in preparation for their Celebration of Life BBQ taking place on Sunday. Last night I made a big poster talking up our upcoming walk and also had an idea of making another poster titled "Send Your Positive Vibes to Mark!" which included some neat scrapbooking stickers and will allow people at the party to write notes to Mark. The idea came to me since there are going to be around 70 people at this party and Mark never seems to realize just how much people like him and what a difference he makes in others' lives.
Anyways, in the course of conversation, she said that they had been going to counseling because all sorts of emotions that he wasn't able to deal with the past year have all been surfacing probably because he feels better physically. She said this counseling has been a godsend because he has a very difficult time talking about it though he told her that he felt comfortable talking to me about it. It was like a warm balm on my soul to hear that because I so feel the same way. Last time he and I had a good long talk on the phone a couple of weeks ago, we really delved into things going on in his head, heart and soul. Our conversation was so below the normal surface of conversation that all I can say is that it fed our inner souls.
I struggle with how this sounds, kind of corny, and wonder how this fits into our lives with our spouses but you know it somehow does without interfering or minimizing those relationships. It's hard to explain but it works. For me, V. truly is my other half - my best friend, lover and partner in life - we not only love each, we like each other and 99% of the time believe that we are looking out for each other and always view ourselves as a team against whatever may come. Mark isn't my lover or my partner - that's his relationship with Jodi - but he is my best friend too and we were there to support, love, care, and look out for each other long before V. and Jodi were in the picture. Because we were lonely at times and struggling most of the time with what life was throwing at us 20 somethin's, we drew as close to one another as most couples do without the romantic part for which I am so thankful because it allows us to still be this close without interfering with our marriages. It's as though we were each other's "dry run" for our spouses.
It's still very bizarre sounding and I've probably overanalyzed it to death but I have to admit two things: one, this relationsip fascinates me because of its uniqueness and two, I am so grateful to be part of it.
Mark's wife called this evening in preparation for their Celebration of Life BBQ taking place on Sunday. Last night I made a big poster talking up our upcoming walk and also had an idea of making another poster titled "Send Your Positive Vibes to Mark!" which included some neat scrapbooking stickers and will allow people at the party to write notes to Mark. The idea came to me since there are going to be around 70 people at this party and Mark never seems to realize just how much people like him and what a difference he makes in others' lives.
Anyways, in the course of conversation, she said that they had been going to counseling because all sorts of emotions that he wasn't able to deal with the past year have all been surfacing probably because he feels better physically. She said this counseling has been a godsend because he has a very difficult time talking about it though he told her that he felt comfortable talking to me about it. It was like a warm balm on my soul to hear that because I so feel the same way. Last time he and I had a good long talk on the phone a couple of weeks ago, we really delved into things going on in his head, heart and soul. Our conversation was so below the normal surface of conversation that all I can say is that it fed our inner souls.
I struggle with how this sounds, kind of corny, and wonder how this fits into our lives with our spouses but you know it somehow does without interfering or minimizing those relationships. It's hard to explain but it works. For me, V. truly is my other half - my best friend, lover and partner in life - we not only love each, we like each other and 99% of the time believe that we are looking out for each other and always view ourselves as a team against whatever may come. Mark isn't my lover or my partner - that's his relationship with Jodi - but he is my best friend too and we were there to support, love, care, and look out for each other long before V. and Jodi were in the picture. Because we were lonely at times and struggling most of the time with what life was throwing at us 20 somethin's, we drew as close to one another as most couples do without the romantic part for which I am so thankful because it allows us to still be this close without interfering with our marriages. It's as though we were each other's "dry run" for our spouses.
It's still very bizarre sounding and I've probably overanalyzed it to death but I have to admit two things: one, this relationsip fascinates me because of its uniqueness and two, I am so grateful to be part of it.
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