A Funk

I got into a funk late yesterday afternoon triggered by something very small but significant thing that V. did on the phone and I was off and running. I tried distraction last night which worked somewhat well but then I went to bed and woke up screaming "Help, help" three times in a row because of a nightmare that just kept going. One of those realistic ones where you swear it's not a dream. This lovely one was that some guy was in the house trying to find me so he could kill me. Of course, I was in the bed unable to move or scream when he entered the room. Gotta love that. I was so shook up from it that it took me a while to get over feeling so scared.

I'm just in a pity party frame of mind, looking at things with dark shades, coloring everything negative. Even though I know that, it's hard to shake it off but I'll keep trying by concentrating on good, positive things. It just doesn't seem like other people have to try so hard on a daily basis to accomplish this - see, there is that negative view again.

Here's one thing I am happy about. I was watching I. interact with her female school friends last week at the playdate and I got to see how she acts with kids she is really comfortable with, kids that she feels comfortable lowering that reserve that she tends to have with people she's not as familiar with. What I saw was a kind, caring little girl who, though she may be working on something, has the whole table under surveillance so that if someone asks for something, she's the first to reach and give it to them. She also knows very well how to stick up for herself if someone tries to rudely or aggressively take something from her. She'll hang on for dear life until the other person gives up.

Kind but not a pushover - that's what I would hope for her and it appears that she is just that. It appears I'm on the right track with her and that is a big positive.