Just to illustrate the unique strangeness of my family situation, there's the phone call of last night from my dad. He was calling to find out my opinion of what was the best dating website out there. Like I would know, being married and all. But they figured I'd be able to find out and let them know. They had spent a good portion of the day filling out Eharmony.com's questionnaire with my sister. As V. put it, "Who the heck does that with their daughter?" To which I responded, "A pair of desperate parents." She's been applying everywhere for jobs to no avail which is not shocking considering how she acts. So my parents have decided the only way to get her off their dime and out of their daily life is to foist her onto some unwitting guy. Those are my dad's words.
It actually turned into a hilarious conversation, leaving my dad and I howling with laughter due to the one liners flying out of us. He said there wasn't a website for "damaged goods" so that's why they were trying Eharmony. He said that he'd throw in a goat, cow or whatever farm animal it took to seal the deal and get someone to take her off their hands. Though she put she wanted a tall, athletic guy, she wants that same guy to not play any sports nor watch any sports. My dad's translation is that she wants a good looking guy that has no life outside of sitting on the couch telling her how wonderful she is and listening to her lengthy, rambling rants. Sadly, he's right. I told him he should get some of those feather banners and place them out on the main road leading to where she is living - "Girl Available for Dating!" Then as they got closer the signs would say "Turn HERE!" and then the next one would be "You Missed Her! U-TURN NOW!"
The sad part as I reminded him is that even if she finds someone, it doesn't mean it's a permanent solution. In fact, her new nickname is "boomerang" because she always comes back. What a completely un-funny situation for my parents - I'm glad I could get my dad to laugh about it instead of crying which is what he felt like doing.
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