So Much

As in "So much to say but don't even know how to say it."

Or "So much for jail teaching her a lesson."

Or "I hate my sister so much."

I think that last sentence is the most truthful and if I am being really honest, it only scratches the surface of emotions, namely anger, that I feel towards her. 

I don't want to get into details because I don't want to become too enraged again.  Short story is that she's been out of jail for 6 days.  Last night she shows up at my parents' house at midnight causing a scene with some shit story about going off with some guys (instead of staying at the rescue mission) and getting all her stuff taken by them along with being raped by them as well.  It's all bullshit because she always says she's raped and then changes the story on a daily basis.  She was thrown out of the rescue mission last night because she was taking too long to eat due to the fact that the meal was not vegan and when the lady told her she needed to finish up, my sister went crazy on her and cussed her out.  How she got clear up to Carlsbad from downtown San Diego I don't know.

So what do my parents do because they don't want to have the neighbors see a police car in front of their house?  They scream and yell back and forth with her and then let her sleep in their car in the garage and lock the house door so she can't get in.  It's pretty obvious she's back on drugs.  They spent the whole day trying to find a place for her to sleep tonight but they all have waiting lists.  She had to go to some "substance abuse assessor" down at the court in Vista today so my parents drove her there and then to the pharmacy to get her meds filled.  Of course the whole time she's telling them that this is all their fault, that they made her a drug addict because they drank wine when she was growing up, and just being a fucking bitch.  There was yelling and screaming but you can't argue with crazy.  Tomorrow she has to go back to the courthouse because I don't think she was able to see that assessor or something.  Who knows.  After spending the whole day with her blaming them for everything, my dad refused to have her sleep at the house.  So what do they do?  Get her a motel room across from the courthouse so that it will be easy for him to pick her up.   It's insanity on top of insanity.

Supposedly there's some place in Lemon Grove/El Cajon that may be able to take her tomorrow.  I don't know.  My dad just sounds like he's going to have a heart attack and I don't want to ask very many questions. 

I cannot even begin to verbally express how much I hate her.  I told V. today when I talked to him briefly that it was a good thing I had the kiddos because if I didn't, I would probably drive over there and just go off on her.  She truly is the ugliest, nastiest, piece of shit and waste of oxygen I know.

Another good reason why I should keep my home away from North County.