Day 22 & 23

There have been so many times that I will be driving in the car and I'll glance back at D. and he'll be sitting there diagonally from me in the back seat, looking at me.  I'll look him in the eye and smile, a genuine smile, because he's just so doggone cute looking and he gives me this sweet little smile with his perfect rosebud lips pressed together.  It inspires me to glance back again (if we're at a red light) and smile at him again just to see his little smile grow bigger.  What's so amazing and what hits me directly in the heart is that it's the same exact smile as when he was a mere 1/2 hour old.  Well, let me rephrase...he didn't exactly "smile" when he was first born but he did have his lips together in the most serene, content look and that is what this smile is - just a happy, I-love-you-Mommy look that I only get when we're in the car together.  Makes my heart melt, do flip flops and my whole being go all gushy.

 

D. 30 minutes old

 

Yesterday while D. napped, I. and I got things done around the house and then we all went to swim class.  In the afternoon, I. and I played a game and then we went to the chiropractor.  It doesn't sound like a memorable day but we had a good day.  I did a funny dance after I lost the game to I. because it was a close one and she thought that was hilarious. Our wonderful summer just continues on thankfully.

 

Today I. went to summer day camp at her school for swim day and I decided to run up to LEGOLAND water park for a fun time and a research trip all rolled into one.  We had never been to the water park before and I had no idea if I could successfully keep both kiddos happy since they might want to be in different sections and if there's only one of me that could be a problem.

 

 

We got there and ate lunch and then went to the section for littler kids and my goodness, did D. enjoy himself.  With all his fussiness the last 2 weeks at the parties, I kind of anticipated some problems but he went in full tilt and we had the best time.  He ran around squealing with joy and my face hurt from smiling so much as I watched him.  Even when it was time to go and change clothes to go get I. from camp, he didn't throw a fit, probably because he was a little hungry and I enticed him with the last piece of pizza from lunch.  Still, he was a hundred times better than the last 2 weekends so maybe it's not the party situation and him having a hard time dealing with it.  Perhaps it's the number of people around him that he knows and somehow that makes him feel insecure with me.  Because today there were plenty of people around and he was fine separating from me and running around solo.  Or maybe it's because I. wasn't there?  I don't know but I'll have to keep mixing things up and seeing if I can figure it out.  The bottom line of the water park was that I think I. would have a good time if I took them by myself but she would have a better time if I took them with other people to free us two girls to go explore the bigger kid attractions as well. 

 

I find myself more relaxed this summer with the kiddos especially I.  I find more humor in what she says instead of getting annoyed.  She's been such a joy to be around for the most part, less whiny and complaining, more positive and cheerful and more affectionate with me.  I've found more patience to deal with the few times when she's reverted back to Eeyore.  I've had time to talk with her about things in the distant future, both life lessons and tips as well as my hopes for her and I and our relationship. I've talked about how important it is for her to find a man that she is friends with and who makes her laugh because life can be difficult and if you don't like the person you are married to, life will be really long and tiring.  We've talked about how I will be a Bubbi to her kids and that I will help her when her kiddos are driving her crazy.  Yesterday we were talking about how Mommy will always be there through all the hard times that come with life and whether she would want me there when she has her babies (she said she did).  I told her I could really help encourage her when she has her babies because I've been through both a baby out of my tummy and one out the other way so I know what I'm talking about.  She liked that.  Of course my cynical side tells me I'm delusional that she is going to want this 20 years down the line but I am going to try to remain optimistic.  Maybe it's strange but I can tell she enjoys it though on some level it touches her to a point that she gets shy and embarrassed but later it comes out in the form of loving affection from her both physically and verbally so I think it's good.  I can only hope and pray for the best outcome.