Day 17

I woke up in the middle of the night with a bad headache, one that didn't go away until almost noon and even after that, I was so tired.  I think it was an emotional hangover.  When I talked to V. last night, I got really upset as I told him about the conversation.  Everything just hit me - the fact that I felt like my mom had turned on me and attacked me right after I bared some of my soul to her, the tit for tat, her saying that I had responded "nastily", and then that she brought up an additional gripe that she had (I didn't mention this in last night's post) about how I never did confide in her or ask her for help with my first marriage and that she never understood why and obviously she's been harboring that grudge as well.  I didn't have time to fully address that attack because my friend came to my door because we weren't at the pool like I told her we would be.  Nice hostess that I am.  The absurdity that my mom brought up that secondary topic that is from 20 years ago and threw that into yesterday's phone call hit me today and got me mad.  It's just so fucking stupid.

I threw myself into enjoying my summer day with my kiddos and tried to forget that I'm going to have to be over at my parents' tomorrow for 8+ hours.  God help me.  I. and I had a breakfast date at our favorite pancake restaurant this morning while D. was asleep which was great fun.  She and I really are having a good time this summer together.  Truly and thankfully a 180 from last summer.  In the afternoon the three of us went looking at some houses with the realtor which we actually enjoyed.  Will be talking with V. about the timing of listing our own house.  Stressful but exciting (sort of).

After this week, I have to say that I am SO looking forward to heading out for our annual Palm Desert vacation.  Usually we go in June but I am really glad that we had to wait until July because I really am going to need that week of just my little family and to hibernate.

We'll see how tomorrow goes.  It's going to be a long day.

Oh and by the way, my sister got out of jail today.  Just thought I'd throw that in ... don't have the energy to get into details.