In Limbo

This week has been a busy one. I. has been in a summer camp since Tuesday from 9-noon so it's been balls to the wall every morning. Not to mention, I've had to set the alarm to wake up early to get her there on time. Oh, I do NOT miss waking up to an alarm. It's been one of the perks the last few years and I am not looking forward to the day when I have to go back to it. For a person who only sleeps decently from 4 am. on, an alarm is pure torture. I'm groggy, disoriented, and out of it. Much rather wake up on my own in between dreams/nightmares.

At night this week, I've been slammed with client work. This client is a hurry up and wait kind of client. Actually, both of my clients are that way. You don't hear from them and then they need everything yesterday. So for the last few days, I've been Momma full-time and then worker bee from 6pm on and I'm pretty tired. I do like to see the invoices increasing though and it's going to be a pretty good month so that's satisfying. However, these two time-consuming tasks delays updating my blog.

Yeah, so the update. Fourth of July turned out wonderfully because my sister didn't show up. So we had a relaxed, fun time playing ping pong and laughing. While I. has been in summer camp this week, I've been working out and catching up on errands. Today though I decided to do something different and go for an hour long hike up Iron Mtn. which was pretty challenging. I really enjoyed it though. I had my Ipod on and somehow scaling those rocky hills gave me the same type of feeling as when I was in martial arts. The physical challenge with a required mental focus (so I didn't twist my ankle or fall) that distracts me from the strenuous exercise. The only bad part was that due to the mistiness of the day, it was pretty deserted which was kind of scary. Considering the domestic violence incident plus the murdering mechanic friend, my fear and anxiety is on high alert. But I got a good workout and enjoyed it immensely. I wish I could do it all the time 'cause I'd be in kick-ass shape without the boredom of the gym.

Afterwards, I went to Mark's grave and laid down to finish reading Ozzy Osbourne's autobiography. I thought it fitting to read Ozzy's book with Mark, plus I hadn't seen his headstone in person and I was right around the corner. It was still misting and gloomy, so I just pulled my hood over my head and face, sat on his headstone and read. Then it was time to pick up I. from camp. I'm kind of in a strange place - the year anniversary is quickly approaching and I'm actively planning this party with his parents. Next Tuesday, I'm going to his parents' house to figure out the last minute details of the party. My mood is definitely down with fleeting thoughts from my depressed days but overall, I'm keeping myself busy and trying to stay focused on positive things.

I wanted to treat myself to something on the last day of I.'s summer camp. Terry couldn't do coffee so instead I'm dropping I. off, heading to a Starbucks with a book, and then getting a massage with my favorite masseuse. I really lucked out on getting on her schedule because she only works certain days and usually she's booked. It's a sign, I think.