She Gave Our Gift

Disappointment doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. This is the hardest emotion for me to deal with probably because it involves various emotions - sadness, anger, being let down, hurt. I vacillate between wanting to cry and wanting to punch a wall. Neither are really going to make me feel better so I do nothing. Well, not quite nothing because I'm blogging about it. That's really just for my own mental health and to try and get it out of my head so that I don't have nightmares tonight.

Now, to get to the title of the post. The ex told the girls what OUR graduation present was (taking them to Puerto Rico for a week). Let me say that again: THAT BITCH TOLD THE GIRLS WHAT OUR PRESENT WAS. You know, the present that I have spent over 20 hours researching and planning. The one that we were looking forward to giving them to see their excited reaction. It's done. There's no excited reaction to see because SHE saw it. She got the reaction to OUR gift. I went to AAA this week to get printed literature on Puerto Rico so that we could do a drawn out "reveal" of the vacation. Tonight I worked on the rest of it so that V. could see it since they're coming down tomorrow night. And for what, a big fat nothing.

I am full of such anger and hatred towards the ex right now. What a fucking bitch. This one week after we hung out with them for 8 hours, us being personable, nice people and then she turns around and basically fucks us. This is when I wish I still was involved with martial arts so that I could punch and kick something until I felt better, all the while visualizing the offending person's face. But I'm not so I'm just going to have to deal with it. Luckily, I'm going to the gym tomorrow morning so I will have some physical outlet.

Life is too short for this kind of bullshit.