Day 47-49

This summer has been all about multi-tasking as though I was not doing that already.  Maybe now it's multi-multi tasking.  It makes my head spin throughout the day and I cannot tell you the last time I was able to doze off in the afternoon to get a head wind for the rest of the day.

Saturday V. and I. went to the gym early while D. was taking a nap and then they went to a gift shop because I. wanted to get everyone some presents with the money she got last week through the SDSU study.  So sweet...she got me, V. and D. something special.  When they got home we looked at 3 houses, 2 of which I had seen already and had pegged as favorites.  We were going to put an offer in on one of them because it was perfect but found out later in the afternoon that they already had an offer and did not want any contingent offers.  I'm going to have to toughen up and get used to disappointment or I'm not going to survive this process.  Seeing the kids happily run around the house and the beautiful yard and the remodeled kitchen and the pantry and how the house was completely brand new and the location was great...we were all excited and then the crash of no, they don't want your stupid contingent offer.  This market is tough, really tough.  Lots of cash buyers and low inventory mean that houses go into escrow within 3 days of going on the market.  Plus they don't need to accept any contingent offers when someone is good to go.  Trying not to stress out about this, some days more successful than others.

Sunday was our baseball date and we had a good time.  Saw batting practice, walked around, and enjoyed the game even though the Yankees lost.  Had a fun time at dinner at one of our favorite places.

Today I. went to VBS but I picked her up early for swimming class since we've missed several already and before we know it, it will be time to go back to school. 

Today also was D.'s last day of being 1-something.  It kills me.  When I was cradling him and singing the regular bedtime songs tonight, I cried because this would be the last time I was looking into a 1 year old's face of mine.  I've been rereading the document my doula wrote of his birth story tonight.  It's absolutely priceless and reading it takes me right back in time.  I really am thankful for both the documentation of it and for the actual happening of it - I've never felt such pain before in my life but I got to experience bringing D. out of me into this world the way I hoped for, then seeing his little serene face and big dark eyes staring into my face , his enthusiastic nursing within 5 minutes of being born, and this feeling of euphoria coursing through me for the rest of the day.  Granted, 3 days later and for about 10 weeks after that I was in agony in various locations but the day and a half after I birthed D., I felt like I could run a marathon, climb a mountain, and do anything I wanted.  It was such a beautiful experience.

But my baby boy will turn 2 tomorrow.  Our music class friends will be coming over tomorrow to celebrate and distract Mommy from this fact, try to get her to focus on the positive (hmm, what is it again?). At least D. is close to me emotionally.  When he gets hurt and is upset, he runs to me for comfort.  He loves to snuggle against my chest at naptime, and rest time and bedtime.  He can be spazzing out and hyper but as soon as I put his cheek against my skin, he immediately relaxes and snuggles in towards me.  It's like our substitute for nursing and it's been working to soothe both of us. 

I want to have tomorrow be all about happy and that's why I am trying to get through all the not so happy part tonight.  I'll see tomorrow if I was successful in my goal.