Day 72

Slept like crap last night thanks to the warm evening.  When I woke up at 5:45, I turned on the monitor and could hear D. babbling happily and hoped he would stay awake until 6:30 when the alarm was going off.  He did and it was so nice to open the door and see his happy little face as he was standing up in the crib facing the door. 

I decided that our outing after his morning nap would be a trolley adventure since he was so excited about that before.  We caught the trolley at Qualcomm and rode it for 30 minutes to Seaport Village.  Lately he's been really good about holding my hand and walking so I decided to take a chance and not try to lug the stroller onto the trolley.  It worked out perfectly.  He happily sat on my lap on the way there and then held my hand as we walked the half mile to the pancake restaurant downtown.  He enjoyed his blueberry pancakes and I enjoyed my pecan pancakes and while we were eating, he kept making the sign for train to verify that we were going to go on the train again. Then we walked back to the station and enjoyed the return trip.

It was so nice to have my little guy resting against me, feeling his baby fingers search for my fingers and hold tightly when the trolley noises were a little intense or as the number of people grew.  It was soothing for both of us.  I am so thankful that we have found/created physical moments/routines of closeness that has really forged a bridge from our nursing days.  There were a few months where we were floundering and trying to find our way, mostly because I was trying to be sensitive and not remind him that we were no longer nursing.  And maybe that was necessary for those first couple of months out from nursing.  But now, I'm no longer concerned that he's missing it and now we are truly reconnecting in a way that can continue for a long time.  Such a relief.