Every day since V has been gone, I has thrown some sort of a whiny tantrum when V calls or when we've tried the webcam. She just doesn't know how to handle or communicate the overwhelming emotions she must be feeling. I try to help her - "Mommy misses Daddy. Do you miss Daddy?" and she responds but it's with words from her brain and it doesn't seem to let off the steam from her heart and then it percolates until she hears/sees him and then it explodes. My brain understands it but when I want to hear V's voice and I is screaming, I get irritated and banish her to the bathroom. Hopefully this will get better somehow, someway since we still have 5-6 months of this crap to go through.
Anyways, the day got better in the afternoon in a roundabout way. Mark and his wife and new son were planning on coming over this afternoon to collect their cats and visit. The rain was just pouring down so they cancelled and will come tomorrow. While I was excited to see them, I was feeling guilty because I've wanted to spend some quality downtime at home with I but with errands, the gym, and her early bedtime, it seems we are always on the go. But since our plans fell through, we ended up baking, which we enjoy doing together, pumpkin cranberry bread with the rain pouring outside, the Christmas music on inside and the tree lit up and cheering us up. Then we read some special Christmas books I only get out at this time of year and it just was what the doctor ordered. We snuggled, laughed,and her bedtime was bathed in contentment.
Thank God for a rainy day!
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