Really enjoying my birthday break in Laguna. Nice to be able to go through the day relaxed and without any demands. Basically floating through the day as I please. Did a lot of reading today and played games/had fun with V. That right there makes it a good, fun day and different than my usual day which is kind the whole point of getting a break - to do something completely different than normal.
Even while it was such a great day (as was Friday afternoon), I'm missing my kids. I miss I., my little turtle, who sometimes tries to act like I annoy her but who saves every single written word/note I give her and tapes them to her headboard. While I may not experience it demonstrably on a daily basis, I sense from other times, a fierce, deep love in her for me. One that sometimes she may be overwhelmed by and not sure how to handle and express.
I miss my baby boy - his exuberance, his zest for everything and his loving, affectionate, playful self. I miss his curls against my lips when I kiss him and the way he stares deeply in my eyes sometimes when I sing him his bedtime songs while he's lying in my arms.
The saying of how once you have kids, your heart walks outside of your body is so true. Because even while enjoying myself and V. and the break, at the end of the day there was a painful twinge tugging at my heart saying that something very importantly is missing . I know what it is, it's very simple - in over 2 days I haven't seen my kids, touched them, talked to them, hugged and kissed them and I deeply miss it.
Note to self...do not go over one day without talking to the kiddos on the phone. It would save a lot of heartache.
No comments:
Post a Comment