It's been a busy couple of weeks. I feel the end of the school year quickly approaching and the hot breath of things that would be easier to get done before that date on my neck. The feelings of chaos, clutter, and being overwhelmed has been at my heels the past 2 weeks and a wicked, bleeding case of diaper rash for poor D. has only intensified the clamor.
All this week my normal routine has been thrown into disarray. I've been going to bed late, getting D. up late at night to change him to try to divide his night by dry diapers. I've been getting up early to limit the time his normal morning poop is resting against his butt. When he wakes up early at morning nap, I have to stop my work out and get him up to get the poop off his butt. And in the afternoon when I normally grab 1.5 hours to gather steam and get some things done, I've had to get him up as soon as I hear him whimpering. I feel so bad for my little guy as I truly understand how painful and irritating and exhausting pain in that region can be but after an entire week, I am physically and emotionally exhausted myself in dealing with his irritability and tantrums solo since V. has been gone since Sunday.
Today was just one of those uphill, backwards with a leg tied up behind me kind of day. It was so bad that even I., my non-empathy child, felt sorry for me. I was physically wrecked and emotionally done but the straw on the camel's back was a voice mail from my sister early this afternoon. Considering our history, this was not surprising. Unbeknownst to me, she's landed herself in jail and calls my cell phone to tell me that she thinks she can't come back and live with my parents because I am being selfish and having my kids live in her room a few nights of the week. And she doesn't understand why she is being isolated from the family on holidays because she didn't do anything and it must be me because I am the eldest. And she is pleading with me as a sister to let her plant her feet into her room at my parents' house and that none of this is her fault, blah blah blah. It pissed me off and exponentially added to my feeling of being overwhelmed. If I was a more irresponsible person, I would have insisted upon a night and day by myself to just detox and recover.
But I am a very responsible person and I have missed V. this week and would like to see him and my step-daughters are finally coming down tomorrow afternoon and it will be good to catch up with them. So, I take a deep breath and hope for a better day, knowing that at the very least, I won't have to get up extra early since V. is here. He'll be up at 4:30 or 5:00 so getting the kids up by 6:30 is like nothing to him. Hopefully that will be enough to hit my reset button.
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