Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Am I Living in the Land of Even Steven?

Ever since M was diagnosed with inoperable cancer, the most common thought in my mind and coming out of my mouth was, "I wish they would come back home." I knew we could provide a lot of help, support, and love that he and his wife need at this time.

So my wish is coming true and they should be arriving the second week of December. As in moving here for good. What an answer to my prayers! I'm really excited and sort of relieved in a way. I just want some more time and moments with him.

The Even Steven part of it is that as they come down here, V is being sent to Saudi Arabia to work for 3 weeks. Then back for Christmas and New Years and then back to SA for another 3 weeks, home 1 week etc. This may go on for up to 6 months. So M comes back and V leaves. Why can't I have both here at the same time? It's felt like each day of this year, I've been missing someone and feeling like there's a hole in my heart. And I'm tired of it.

I struggle already with "waiting for the other shoe to drop" whenever things are going well and I know that and try to actively combat those kind of thoughts. But then there's this - M is coming home and I'm blissfully happy about that for one week until I find out V is being shipped off to some God forsaken place. See, one week and then the shoe drops. At least that's how it seems.

Thank God I have a book on hold at the library called "The Geography of Bliss: one grump's search for the happiest places in the world". It's been recommended and seems to be just what the doctor orders when it comes to filling my mind with helpful tips on how to have positive and thankful thoughts. I'll let you know how that turns out!

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