It seemed like today the planets and stars lined up to deliver a punishing day. Start to finish, it was an uphill, backwards, one leg tied behind my back in an ass kicking contest kind of day. To begin with we are in the second week of potty training and as soon as things start going more smoothly, an automatic toilet flush derails the train and leaves us overturned on the tracks. I. has decided that she will NOT use a toilet outside of the house. No ifs, ands, or buts. No matter if it's a regular toilet or not. Anything outside of the walls of the house has been declared suspect, off limits and you know who suffers the most from that declaration? Yes, that's right, me. Because now I'm going to have to lug a portable toilet on my back along with a 15 lb. diaper bag (full of extra pants and underwear, water, and as much food as I can pack for my always ravenous child), and a stroller in some cases. Then when we go grocery shopping or on errands, it's just going to be the Wild Wild West I guess. Like today at the grocery store, I take I. out of the cart and guess what? It's all wet and she really doesn't care which is probably the biggest source of my frustration. Why is it that I'm the only one who cares about this happening? I know, she's only 3.5 but it just doesn't help my frustration level. I guess I'll just be a pack mule until something gives.
In addition to this, I. decides she's going to run away from me in a parking lot this morning, and then goes into a full-scale whining/crying/demanding trifecta for the next hour to drive me to the edge. I finally get her down for resttime - she's happily playing for 25 minutes and then screaming my name for the next 35 minutes. In my book, that's not relaxing. That could just be me, I'm not sure. So, I get her up to go to the grocery store (not my favorite place) and she pees in the cart. Just when I think it'll be okay because I. is successfully in bed, dinner almost flops but somehow I pull it out at the last minute. After dinner I resume my duties of putting the rest of the groceries away in the pantry and start laundry when I step onto an errant smushy cat turd with my bare foot and then encounter a huge spider inside of the toliet paper roll bag. How does a spider get into a sealed plastic wrapper? I don't know, but it fits perfectly into the day so far so why question it?
In the background, we also have a nagging issue with a friend blowing me off when he probably needs help. What to do, what to do. An issue of my own reappearing after 10 years, leading to feelings of anger, betrayal, and avenging thoughts and a few frustrations with my own body for not working/looking the way I want it to. Yeah, some fun times for me right now.
V. says I should just go to bed before anything else happens. I understand that logic but I'm of the mindset that I can and will somehow pull this day out of the ditch before it's over so I can go to sleep on an upswing and hope for a better day. Plus I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep. I shudder to think about facing these things without adequate sleep; now THAT would be scary!
Instead I'll blog to get it out of my head, have an adult beverage, and toast to a better day. That's the best I can do today.
1 comment:
I sure hope you've had some better days since you wrote this blog. I had a thought. What if you tried a paradoxical intervention with I and just said something to the effect, I guess you're not ready for potty training right now and then did your very best to act as if you really didn't care. Do you think she would then want to do it? I don't know, just a thought. C
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