It's Been Awhile

Many reasons for not posting for so long - error issues when I would try to post on the computer, life's business, and a lot of just trying to keep my head above water.

For now I just want to make sure I capture the memory of walking into D.'s room at my bedtime to check on him. If he went to sleep quickly to put 2 books by his bed and 2 cars in his bed for morning playtime. and him waking up and greeting me with a high pitched, happy greeting of "hi" in the middle of his night, still happy to see me.  After putting his cars in bed, I stroke his curls and tell him good night and that I love him.

And as I walk out he whispers, "I love you too."

💖💕💖💕💖

3rd Birthday Eve

I've been reading my doula's account of D.'s birth story and it takes me right back to those moments.  I remember exactly how I felt, what I was thinking and what was being said to me.  I remember the "oh shit" moment when the doctor came in to give the "we might have to do a C-section" speech to me and how I ignored her and just concentrated on what was happening and 10 minutes later was at the point of pushing which negated her C-section issue. 

I read on and am amazed that I pushed for 2 1/2 hours.  I would think I would have given up by that point.  But I was determined to have you come out naturally, that had been my goal for 9 months and because of that I was focused.  I lined up the doula to increase my chances and V. was right there helping this time around.  Last time was disappointing but this time around he was a champ, encouraging me, pressing my lower back as hard as he could with every contraction to help with my pain, and fanning me in between contractions because I was so DAMN hot.

Such great memories and I revisited the high points with D. while I was rocking him at bedtime.  He totally got it because he loved hearing about what we all thought of him when we first met him and afterwards he snuggled up tightly to my chest and when I put him in the crib, he spontaneously gave me big hugs and insisted on giving me kisses instead of the other way around.  I also talked with I. about when she first met her brother and held him and it brought back nice, loving and maternal feelings to her.

A good way to end today.

Sanctify the Ordinary

Read a quote of Jack Canfield's last week and it still resonates with me.

"Sanctify the ordinary."

If I had to list what I do during a weekday, at first glance someone may think, "Wow, it's kind of the same every day.  How mundane!"  And if I was just looking at my day from the viewpoint of what I got "done", I'd have to agree. 

But within all the ordinary of my day (and there is a lot of it) are the truly joyful moments that will be memories I cherish.  Listening to Dominic singing "Hey Soul Sister" in the backseat, watching his little face light up when I look him in the eyes and tell him I love him, sitting next to Isabella at night reading aloud some of my favorite childhood books, and the three of us happily pulling weeds in our very own veggie garden in the late afternoon.  These are the beautiful moments that sanctify my ordinary.

Hard Times

I want to capture these memories of D.  He got his first band aid on his forehead thanks to splitting his forehead on the corner of a stool.  He calls this a "ba-boo".  Next, he likes to announce daily routines such as, "After sleepie-sleepie, I eat the fruita downstairs."  He requires that you repeat back what he says to ensure you understand.  He's all about music.  He loves his music class and picks up lyrics and notes of favorite songs on the radio.  He sings along and recognizes tunes without lyrics.  He may be the next American Idol for all I know.  This boy knows his cars (bat-bats).  While we are driving, he can point out cars which are the same model as my car, Daddy's car and Bubbi and Bobbi's car even if they are a different color.  Pretty observant and impressive.

My back was injured back on February 6th.  That's why I haven't posted.  Suffered greatly for a month until I insisted on an MRI which came back with two herniated discs, one of which is pushing on a few nerve roots.  Yes and that's exactly what it feels like.  Extreme pain...nose running, eye watering pain and this from someone who made it through 30 hours of labor med-free with 3 hours of pushing.  At least there was a reward at the end and I knew it would end sometime.  This pain has been over a month, 24/7, making my D. feel upset because I couldn't hold him like I normally do.  That's when I got mad and started demanding that something start happening to fix this.  Enough is enough.  I won my primary care doctor over and she and I have been working together to try to move things along for pain relief and ultimate healing.  It's going to be an uphill battle with the insurance climate these days but I'm cautiously hopeful.

On a very sad note, a long time friend of mine's wife died this week from pancreatic cancer.  We used to be so close but for the last couple of years it's truly been hit or miss.  I understood that he had a lot going on  but when someone says they'll call me right back when I call on their birthday and they don't call for 5 months, something's up.  To put things in perspective, this guy was my best friend back in the day and even after I. was born, we would meet every so often for coffee to catch up.  However, his wife was diagnosed with cancer right at the same time D. was born - the last time we saw each other was 2 months before he was born.  When I would talk to him, he'd say we have to get together for coffee/lunch but it never happened.  D. will be 3 this year and neither of my 2 remaining guy friends has ever met him.  Kind of hurts.  But I got off on my own tangent while the point was that my friend lost his wife tragically.  Their youngest boy is graduating from high school in June.  It just makes me so sad for their sons and for my friend.  I'll send them a card and say a prayer for them.

Mixed Bag This Week

The last two days of been full of conflicting emotions - joy, worry, contentedness, anxiety.  Thank goodness for the good stuff because the other stuff has been a real bummer.

On the good side of things, I. has been in a more positive mood this week and we continue on with our attitude of gratitude which has been really good and I think has softened her heart towards me and is developing a better relationship between us.  That makes me happy and it also helps greatly when I do need to discipline her.  Most of the time my approach is more gentle and she accepts it better.  Today I purposely built in time to play with D. and it was great.  We played cars for awhile and then played with his kitchen table set which he loves.  I enjoyed showing him how he could put his favorite animals at the table and pretend to make food for them and serve them.  It was neat to see him "get it" and really enjoy this new imaginative play.  What is amazing is how he will play by himself happily for long periods of time.  I had heard about kids like this but never had experienced it.  I can be doing something and he'll be happily playing in the same room or the next room.  Even tonight when I went upstairs to put I. in the shower, he came upstairs and was playing but came and told me that he wanted to go downstairs and play.  So he played downstairs with his garbage truck and car for at least 20 minutes until I went down and brought him up for a bath.  Amazing!

Still so thankful for our house...we love our bunnies in the front grass in the morning and at bedtime and a little family of birds in the backyard in the afternoon.  The kiddos and I ate a strawberry a piece off of our little plants for dessert and it was so sweet in many different ways.

I don't want to dwell on the bad stuff, just want to get it out of my brain so here it is:

• Parents' dire financial situation
• Feeling the need to insert myself into a situation between my brother and my parents
• My older cat having possible seizures possibly due to his chronic kidney disease/failure (will know more when I talk to the vet on Saturday)

I know there are only three but that first one has become a real doozy.  It probably wouldn't stress me out as much if we hadn't reduced our own savings account greatly when we bought our home and I felt like I had more latitude in helping them out.  I swear their situation has got to get better and soon.

Last Days of Summer

The last four days of summer were good, full of fun but went by far too quickly.

Day 74...we went to Meet the Teacher day first thing in the morning so we would have the rest of our day.  I. already knows her teacher and likes her and having only 12 children in the class, all of whom she knows from first grade, makes me happy.  Especially since those two girls are no longer in the class and won't cause drama.  I., D., and I went down to the pool for a while and ate lunch down there too.  It was so warm that the cool water felt great and D. had a blast jumping off the stairs over and over again.  Thanks to the swim lessons this summer, I. is swimming like a fish now and I no longer have to worry about her looking like she's on the verge of drowning.

Day 75 was Saturday and I. went to a school friend's birthday pool party and had a good time.  We finished off the day with our normal linner.

Day 76 we went to the park specifically so that V. could help get I. riding without training wheels.  Too bad it was so stinking warm but they persisted and right before I was wondering whether it was actually going to happen, she took off across the grass and even made a turn!  I was so proud and she was really excited.  I'm glad I insisted that V. participate as part of his father role.  It's a day she'll always remember and that makes me happy.

Day 77 was Labor Day and we all went down to our pool for a couple of hours for lunch and swimming.  For dinner, we went to a barbecue restaurant because you have to have barbecue for the last day of summer vacation and we don't have a barbecue.  Kept thinking the house would sell quickly and it would be one less thing to move so we never bought one.  Still keeping the hope alive but some days it's hard.

This was one of our best summers - full of fun activities, new experiences, and good memories.  It made it hard for me to have I. go back to school because we did have so much fun but I'd much rather that than feeling relieved that she's gone back.  It makes daily weekday life simpler but I miss her, I really do.

Day 73

This was supposed to be a post about how I took D. to LEGOLAND waterpark and then picked I. up from my parents after her couple of days with them.  So let's address what the post was supposed to be about:  D. and I had a good time together at the waterpark.  Another day of no tantrums, no angst and just fun all the way around.  I. was tired when I picked her up thanks to my parents getting her in bed late both nights but I'm hoping that she gets some restful sleep tonight so that we can enjoy our last summer weekday tomorrow.  Still deciding what we are going to do but am leaning towards going to the beach all together one last time...

Now for the bizarre part of this post.  On the way to LEGOLAND today, I remembered that I had had a dream about Mark last night and though I couldn't remember specifics, I remembered that I had had it.  Fast forward to two hours into our waterpark visit and I'm standing watching D. play.  A couple of other little boys start playing next to D. and as I'm looking at them, Mark pops into my mind front and center.  It takes me by surprise because I'm not sure why but then think maybe it's because I'm watching little boys play which reminds me of Mark's little boy.  A couple of minutes later, I glance about 4 feet from me and see Mark's wife/widow and I realize that the little boy playing next to D. is Mark's son!  Since she cut me out of their lives once Mark was gone, I got my fill of looking at him before I said hello.  She didn't realize it was me at first and it was awkward to say the least.  She did eventually talk to me but that's not what's important.  What sticks in my mind is how his eyes were Mark's (which is what made me think of him) and when she said, "Show Papa's friend your Papa smile," and he smiled and it was that little joyful smile of Mark.  I know I should have felt happiness that this was his son and he was obviously a thriving, happy kid but instead I just felt a deep, bone-ache grief and the loss like a knife was just shoved through my heart.  Tonight I just let go and felt the sadness as memories of us came flooding in and I really think that although I may be coping well overall, I would be coping better if Mark was still here.  We just had a way of being there for one another without expectations that created a calming confidence within each other.  I think that lack of expectations was due to being great friends and nothing further, it left all the rest of it out. 

With the dream, my glance at his son without realizing it was him, and then his son smiling his smile of Mark's at me, it was like Mark caught my mind, my eye, and then my heart respectively.  I'm praying that I will see him again and miss my friend terribly.

Back in the Days

If D. wasn't going to wake up around 5:15 or possibly earlier, I'd go and sleep in I.'s bed.  I miss going to sleep knowing he was in my room.  Of course, some of the time he was in my room especially when he was getting up to nurse throughout the night, I daydreamed of closing the bedroom door and having the room to myself.  At least with D. being my second one, I recognized I was going to miss him being in my room even while I simultaneously had my daydreams, leading me to appreciate those tiring but memorable days. 

I am looking forward to opening the door and being the first person he sees in the morning...it's been about 14 months since I had that honor.

Days 50-52

Day 50 of summer was my little guy's 2nd birthday.  I just can't believe it.  I. and I sang him Happy Birthday while he was still in the crib and though he didn't completely understand, he knew we were singing to him and that made him happy.  Melissa and Caroline came over for a playdate and after I. came home from VBS, we had a little party with cupcakes that Melissa had brought over and D. opened the two presents they had gotten him.  This year, he definitely understands how to open a present up and when he saw that it was an airplane with people and a door that opened and closed, he was in love and spent the rest of the time inspecting its wheels and opening and closing the door.  Plus it plays music so it really can't get any better than that.  He was so jazzed about it that I let him take it in the crib with him during afternoon rest time.  Sunday will be our family party and the girls will be coming down by train Saturday night so that will be exciting for everyone.  It will be a full house!

Yesterday was I.'s last day of VBS.  I also had to run to Home Depot this morning to get some items we will need in order to pass house inspection which was supposed to have happened next Monday.  I. and I played pretend restaurant and served up 21 of her stuffed animals with various menu items which was fun.

This morning my realtor let me know that our buyer backed out due to a family emergency.  I don't know that I buy that.  Last night I spent hours getting all these financial statements together for the lender so that he can provide our realtor with a preapproval document to make us more attractive buyers.  Being contingent makes us unattractive. On top of that, in this market you have to include with your bid/offer a biography of your family introducing yourselves and telling why they should accept your bid.  It also makes you "more attractive".   This whole process could give you a complex I swear.  Anyways, now we're back to square one with showings and a need to keep everything perfect while having 2 little ones underfoot.  That part really sucks.  The only good I can see of this is that the inventory has dropped significantly the last week so I was starting to feel stressed that now our house was in escrow and now there were no homes coming on the market.  Guess we'll see what happens.

The rest of the day was good except of course bedtime when the kids were tired and bouncing off the walls and my patience was running out.  The last 2 weeks since we got home V. has worked all 5 weekdays in Arizona so it's been a little rough on me.  Today though I had planned a short adventure for the 3 of us and it turned out really well.  We caught the trolley just east of Qualcomm and then rode it about 4 stops to Mission Valley where it dropped us off right in front of Sammy's Wood Fired Pizza.  We had lunch there, walked around for 20 minutes or so and caught the trolley back to our car.  Both kiddos were so excited and for the rest of the day, D. kept making the sign for train because he was so thrilled by the whole thing.  I got the idea when V. and I took the trolley to the game on Sunday and I was looking out the window at the stops.  So glad we did it and both kids were really well mannered.  A good day with good memories made!

Day 37

Today was the last full day of vacation with the kiddos. While D. Took his morning nap, I played rummy and other games with I. And then we all went to the pools once D. Got up until about 1:30.

It again was a bit of a divide and conquer strategy where we each would take one kid and then we would switch off after awhile.  Having two kids for once made things more even because when we only had I., V. Would refuse to get in the water for the most part and I would be solely in charge of entertaining her.  So that made my irritation factor basically disappear this year.

I can't believe that tonight is our last night. It went so fast.  As always, why am I surprised.  When I think of dropping the kiddos off at my parents Thursday through Sunday, I'm sad.  I've enjoyed having fun with my kiddos without all the tasks and errands and chores etc. pulling at me.  It's been fun to be silly and playing with them.  Once I get to New York for V.'s work trip, I'm sure I will enjoy it but a part of me knows that this vacation will be one that will never come around again due to the young ages and stages of the kiddos.

Days 32-36

We successfully made it out to Palm Desert on Thursday (it's Monday night now).  The weather overall has been pretty good, not at all like a normal July more like early June weather. We've been going to the pool a lot of course which both the kiddos love. This year I. Is old enough to make some friends in the pool to play with which takes some pressure off of me. D. Just loves running and jumping and eating so the dynamics have changed again.  It's been intersting to watch other families with kids at different ages and say to myself, "Oh that's what's coming next?"  As demanding as these young stages are like I told V. Other parents with older or grown up kids probably look at us and think that this is the exhausting stage but some of the sweetest times and memories. We should relish these times before they are gone.

This vacation has been full of play time with the kids with limited work and no errands.  A true vacation for me and V. Has gotten to truly be a father in the real sense.  Today he and I. Went to luch and a movie all day today to give her some special time with Daddy.  D. And I went to the pool for a while, then had resty, headed tot he marketplace on site n a bus which was a huge excitement fornD. And then played on the bathtub together before I. And V. Got home.  When we first got in the bath, D. Was looking at my boobs, then he pointed at them and opened his mouth and leaned toward me. He remembered nursing from them.  That made me happy because although it's been 5 months he obviously remembers nursing.  There was no sadness or wanting on his part; it was just an acknowledgement that we used to do that.  It makes me understand why he still loves to snuggle against my bare skin and the soothing effect it haves on him.

Our house went on the market today. I had bad dreams all night because my mind was in overdrive.  The realtor thinks she will have offers by next weekend.  It makes me so sad tot hunk of leaving the place I brought both my babies home to from the hospital. But on the other hand I picture them running in the backyard playing and us planting flowers and a garden and that makes me feel better.   I want to write down all the memories I have of both the kiddos of the early days in tips house so I can always have them with me.

Day 20 & 21

Yesterday I got to sleep until 9am and it was decadent.  I did some things around the house and then V. and I went to the gym.  We had just enough time to relax for a little while before it was time to go and get the kiddos.  On the way home, we went to Fidel's for linner and we really had a nice time.  It felt good to have my kiddos with me.

Today we went to the gym and then I took I. for a special afternoon to Belmont Park.  She had received a free unlimited ride pass for all the books she had read and so today was the day we used it.  We went on a bunch of rides and had a really good time.  It was nice to have time with my big girl.  Needless to say, we were pooped by the time we got home.  The boys had good one on one time with each other and it was the first time that V. had to make a meal and put him down for a nap since he's been born.  It's about time. 

Yesterday also marked D. turning 23 months old.  I can't believe it.  This time of year takes me right back like it was yesterday to the time right before he was born.  Really makes me emotional but I have to say that I do love hearing how D. says "Momma", he really says it with love and drags it out to make it sound truly meaningful.

Day 12-14

Friday we successfully made it to the beach and now that I. is a big girl who can help carry things, our trip to the beach went pretty smoothly.  We enjoyed the cold water and once D. got over his initial unease, he was happy to hold my hand and play in the waves while I. was running and jumping like a little nut.  Our time went too quickly (always a good sign) and no one threw a fit when it was time to leave, which was a fantastic surprise.

Maybe our better than expected beach trip made me cocky, because I had high hopes for how much fun Caroline's birthday party was going to be on Saturday afternoon.  It was a great party, with creative pretty decorations, wonderful ideas, and good food.  The part that wasn't so great was that D. was whiny, conflicted, and shrieking at the top of his lungs for a least half of the time we were there.  If I had known that I was going to have to be picking him up every 5 seconds literally, I would have worn a damn turtleneck so I wouldn't have to worry about flashing my bra (or more) to all the partygoers every time I had to pick him up or put him down.  Finally, he settled down and played outside in the water (it was over 100 degrees) but by then, I was a sweaty, aggravated hot mess and just felt like going into the bathroom and crying.  I guess I thought he'd be so happy to see Caroline's dog and play with her toys that it would be a cake walk.  Well, it was far from a cake walk and it's never fun being the mom of "that kid".  I can look back now and find the humor in it but at the time, I just wanted it all to end sooner rather than later.

Today V. had to get a couple of errands done that he's been procrastinating for months about and I. decided she would like to go with him.  So after the gym and  lunch, she went off with him, I got D. down for a rest and I'm posting this before I go rest for a little bit.  I'm glad she went with him and that V. didn't make a big deal about it and try to talk her out of it.  I remember doing things and going places with my dad and it was special.  Especially so for I. since V. is gone all the time.  V. didn't experience this time with the girls, I mean not really, so he doesn't understand that it can be the simplest times doing the most ordinary things that will stick in I.'s mind as a memory.  I'll try to remember tonight to tell him that after the kiddos go to bed.  Sometimes you have to point out the most mundane things to V. for him to realize something and even then, I know he'll poo-poo the idea that she'll remember these errand times in the future with fondness. 

Days 8-10 & 11

So much for posting every day.  It's hard to believe that tomorrow will be Friday.  The week passed by so quickly.  I. was at summer camp at her school Monday - Wednesday and the flooring installers were here off and on throughout that time.  Both things made the week go quickly.  I was really conflicted about I. being at summer camp.  With her being at my parents' last week, I just was really missing her and feeling like I wasn't getting to spend time with her during the summer so far. 

Today she and I got some things done around the house while D. took his morning nap, played a little and did some math for fun.  Once he got up it was off to the Fair to meet my parents.  What a madhouse.  The traffic, rude people, mishandled orders, and just the crowds chipped away at my patience.  There were intermittent moments when I truly enjoyed myself and lost myself in the moment like when D. and I were on a ride together or when D. and I. enjoyed their first ride together EVER.  We ran into my friend Melissa and some of her family (we knew each other was there but it was pretty wild that we ran literally right into each other) and that was nice for my parents to finally meet her.  But then....her mom asked my mom if they lived near us or if they were visiting and when my mom said they lived in Carlsbad, Melissa's mom replied that that was pretty close by.  That when my mom just couldn't help interjecting, "Well we wished she lived closer." 

My teeth went on edge and I looked at Melissa whose eyes darted over to me and we both bugged them out at each other because we had already talked about this topic and it was like, "Oh here she goes!"  So she jumped in with how her mom and her do lots of things together and my mom said, "Oh well you must live really close to each other." to which Melissa responded, "No not really, about 30 minutes away.  She lives in Tierrasanta and I live in Escondido.  And I used to live in Scripps Ranch until I moved to Escondido."  That kind of took the wind out of my mom's sails and she dropped it but I was aggravated.  Now the time I spend with them, I'm on guard waiting for the unavoidable poke to come.  I have to talk to them before 4th of July because honestly, I can't go through another family gathering on guard.  It's making me irritable and stressed on top of just the stress of moving etc.  There just wasn't an opportunity this week to address it but I'll have to make sure there is one next week.

Tomorrow I'm planning on hitting the beach with the kiddos for a couple of hours to enjoy the cooler coastal temps and warm ocean.  I do want to make sure that D. gets down for an afternoon rest because he didn't get one today and won't get one on Saturday due to Caroline's birthday party.

V. was able to get a decent flight home tomorrow, should be home around 5.  He's been gone all week so I'm happy about that.

Summer Challenge

I'd like to challenge myself this summer and post something every day this summer.  What normally trips me up is that I wait for when I have some thoughts about some topic or am struggling with something or realize how good something is and then I want to post about it so I remember it.  Problem being, when things are busy or I'm tired, I don't post about it and then go weeks without capturing anything.

I'd really like to have this summer on record, to capture an overall picture of what we did, how we felt, etc.  Be forewarned though, I have given myself the license to post in short snapshot phrases, a quick picture of the day, the day in a nutshell.  By allowing this, I stand a good chance of getting a glimpse into each day of this summer which is my ultimate goal.

Tickling D.'s Funny Bone

V. always says I have a strange funny bone and it appears that I have passed it onto my  kids.  I. has a weird sense of humor that V. is shocked by but I seem to understand so she must have gotten it from me.  And it appears that D. has it too.

After our swimming class which is always memorable due to D. smiling the entire time, we came home and ate lunch.  While I finished my salad, D. was playing on the patio outside getting some fresh air but it was a little warm.  I came out for a little while and hung out with him but then he indicated that he wanted to go inside.  We still had a little time to play so I suggested playing with cars but he didn't seem to into it until I came up with something new.  This age is so exciting because Everything is new.  His brain is just starting to grasp imaginary play but hasn't gotten to the point where he can dream it up.  However, he obviously can understand the humor of it.

I grabbed Ernie and Bert and threw them into the back of a dump truck whereupon I slammed the dump truck into the wall knocking both of them out.  Simultaneously I yelled, "Owwwieee, my head my head."   Then I looked at D. standing next to me and what did he do?  His face spread out into a huge grin and he began gut laughing.  It was such a beautiful sound.  I did it a couple of more times and then he took over, tipping them over and slamming them around but looking to me for the "pain" side effects.  I may be a girl, but I know how to play like a boy.

Moments Like These

It was one of those moments I may have missed as a first time mom but now as a mom of a last one, I relished the moment.  A bit of play time with D. and as usual we needed to replace batteries in one of his toys.  This is one of his favorite things to do.  When I announce, "We need to fix this."  he goes running into the kitchen where the screwdriver is kept and clamors until it is given to him.  Then we begin the fixing process together.

And that's where this story begins and ends, in the word "together".  We open the battery compartment together and while he runs the old batteries to the trash, I gather the new batteries.  This is when it gets memorable.  D. always wants to sit on my lap as I put the batteries in and tighten the screw.  His little head is right below my head; I smell his hair and feel it on my lips as I kiss his head.  After we get it fixed, it's his turn at the screwdriver and he remains on my lap.  I adjust my body so that I can see his profile because if I could, I'd sear it into my memory forever.  He is focused and as he puts the screwdriver onto the screw, his lips purse together with effort.  His thumb and forefinger on his left hand pinch together as he struggles to put the screwdriver head onto the screw.  And when he is successful, I rub his upper arm or his back to relax him a little and quietly congratulate him - "you fixed it", "D. did it!".  His lips relax enough to smile and I can see how proud he is of himself and I am proud for him. 

It is these moments that I am so grateful to be home for, to share with him, to build him up.  I pray that although he won't remember these times, his heart will remember and know that his momma was there for these moments and that she loves him very much.

Trick or Treating

When your kids are asleep by 5:45pm, you don't have the traditional trick or treating experience.  Someday we will but that someday is not now.

Our major community shopping center hosts a trick or treating experience the Saturday before Halloween.  We've been going to it since I. was a toddler.  This was the first year we attended with 2 kids and it was really pretty cool.  I. was Little Bo Peep for the 4th or 5th year running and D. was her lost little lamb.  This will be the last year for I. to be Little Bo Peep as the costume will not fit next year so it was wonderful for her to be able to fit it in it one more year and have D. tied into her costume.  It was so cute and really fun to have 2 kids to be part of the same costume.

We wrapped up the afternoon with an early dinner at Pick Up Stix.  By 5:45, the kids were in bed and by 6:00, they were both asleep.

It was one of those days that I feel so fortunate to experience.  How I have been so blessed to have a girl and a boy, I'll never understand it but will remain extremely thankful for each day.

Beautiful Moments

I talked my parents into meeting D. and I at the beach so that they could see his excitement and I could also get some video and pictures of him in action.  When it's just he and I, I can't capture any memories since he's always running to the waves.  V. is too tired on the weekends and it's too crowded for us to really relax and enjoy ourselves when we're surrounded by crowds of people.  Plus my parents really enjoy the beach and having never seen D. at the beach, it was a treat they especially enjoyed.

LOVE!

It's Not What You're Doing But Who You're Doing It With

Mondays typically mean grocery shopping for D. and I.  Not what I would have considered a fun outing in the past yet with D., it's a great time.  A time for us to hang out face to face, looking at things, smiling at people (mostly D.), and being silly.

Today was no exception and the best part was that we got home a little earlier than we usually do so after getting all the groceries put away and our lunches eaten, there was still some time to sit down and play with him before afternoon nap.  Not that he wasn't enjoying himself walking around with his water cup in hand, taking a little of this and that out and hanging out on the bottom stairs.  I sat down on the floor and started to build up the soft blocks for him to knock down happily and then we played balls for awhile.  It didn't take long before he was throwing himself into my arms and giving me love.  That's what I love about D. - when I do play with him, he is very effusive with his affection towards me.  It's like an immediate payoff which is really nice to receive.

Children often seem like an investment especially as they get older, you keep putting in the attention and effort which may or may not yield a direct payoff but you're always hoping that at the end of the investing period, you'll have something to show for it.

So for now in these sweet, early-ish days of D.'s childhood, I will relish these immediate payoffs and try to sock the memory away for the inevitable future days when I will wonder when the payoff will arrive.