I can't believe it's Christmas Eve already....I can remember last Christmas Eve like it was last week. When you're an adult, life goes fast but when you're a parent it just races by.
A pleasant surprise was that V. was downstairs working instead of going into the office like he said he was. That gives us 5 days with him (well, I. 4 days since she'll be at my parents' house after Christmas). It's a treat.
I. is so excited but thankfully her 4:18 am wake-up time caused her to be asleep by 5:30. As I braided her hair tonight, I remembered how excited I was on Christmas Eve though I had a much harder time falling asleep. This will be the first year that she will have her brother in the room to hang out on Christmas morning.
Tonight I set up our table which was a last minute compilation of a non-creative person but I think it's going to look really nice. I didn't finish it in case D. decided to pull the tablecloth in one fatal swoop. I also filled 3 stockings, put the Santa presents out and wrote the Santa letter. Oh and before I forget, I. lost ANOTHER tooth (she lost one 3 days ago) so not only am I Santa tonight, I'm the Tooth Fairy too!
No wonder I"m tired and ready for bed. I hope for a good Christmas. I know we'll have one tomorrow morning with our kids but I also hope for a smooth, relaxed one for the rest of the day including my parents. Sometimes it's time to take the stress off the parents and shift it onto the kids. Unfortunately in my case, it's the KID but I have hope for my brother.
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Monday, December 24, 2012
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Surprise Christmas Celebration
The second part of my conversation with my mom yesterday was finding out that my brother would not be around for Christmas which added to my parents' depression. So I jumped into ad-lib mode and invited my parents over for Christmas Day. This is huge, I've never had any major holiday at my home, whatever home I've had. My mom didn't think that my dad would go for it but lo and behold, I talk to them this morning and they're all for it. Waking up to no tree, no decorations or lights, and no kids until lunchtime is too much to handle and I understand that, thus the invitation for a different Christmas this year.
It's a different Christmas for us as well. Until last year, Christmas morning was us opening gifts (excluding V.'s and mine) quickly so that V. could hit the road for the 3 hour round trip taking the girls back home. Last year, the girls came down on Christmas Eve afternoon and drove themselves home Christmas morning. This year will be the first year that I. does not have her sisters here for Christmas morning, well excluding the year V. was in Saudi Arabia and no one was here for Christmas. But this will be the first year that we get to stay at home all Christmas Day. What a treat...except
For the fact that now I had to go into overdrive mode trying to provide a nice Christmas table. This is not completely me putting the stress on me. My father resisted a less stress Christmas dinner when I suggested it for my mother's sake citing childhood trauma and memories so I know I need to provide a sort of special ambiance for the dinner. Luckily my mom and I discussed the itinerary of the Christmas dinner so I think we're in sync there and thank goodness for Amazon, I was able to put together a pretty Christmas table (I hope) most of which will arrive on Christmas Eve afternoon.
It's a mixture of emotions. I'm happy for my little family because this is the first one that we celebrate just us Christmas morning. It's not that I want to exclude the girls because that's not it. It's having Daddy, Mommy, and 2 excited, young, Santa believing kids in the home that morning that is a first for us. I'm also happy that V. doesn't have to drive 3 hours on Christmas morning and meet us at my parents' home separate from us. It's looking forward to having some time to explore and play with the toys that we give them instead of having to get ready and head over to my parents' house in the morning.
Yet I feel a responsibility to make this Christmas a happy one for my parents. As a parent and adult I can understand it's a tough one. They had to make cutbacks (at least I hope they did) on the presents due to their financial situation. And two out of three of their kids are not here for Christmas. It leaves pressure on the remaining kid to make it a good one. I thank God for my kids, their grandkids, because I think they are what will make this Christmas a joyous one for all of us.
It's a different Christmas for us as well. Until last year, Christmas morning was us opening gifts (excluding V.'s and mine) quickly so that V. could hit the road for the 3 hour round trip taking the girls back home. Last year, the girls came down on Christmas Eve afternoon and drove themselves home Christmas morning. This year will be the first year that I. does not have her sisters here for Christmas morning, well excluding the year V. was in Saudi Arabia and no one was here for Christmas. But this will be the first year that we get to stay at home all Christmas Day. What a treat...except
For the fact that now I had to go into overdrive mode trying to provide a nice Christmas table. This is not completely me putting the stress on me. My father resisted a less stress Christmas dinner when I suggested it for my mother's sake citing childhood trauma and memories so I know I need to provide a sort of special ambiance for the dinner. Luckily my mom and I discussed the itinerary of the Christmas dinner so I think we're in sync there and thank goodness for Amazon, I was able to put together a pretty Christmas table (I hope) most of which will arrive on Christmas Eve afternoon.
It's a mixture of emotions. I'm happy for my little family because this is the first one that we celebrate just us Christmas morning. It's not that I want to exclude the girls because that's not it. It's having Daddy, Mommy, and 2 excited, young, Santa believing kids in the home that morning that is a first for us. I'm also happy that V. doesn't have to drive 3 hours on Christmas morning and meet us at my parents' home separate from us. It's looking forward to having some time to explore and play with the toys that we give them instead of having to get ready and head over to my parents' house in the morning.
Yet I feel a responsibility to make this Christmas a happy one for my parents. As a parent and adult I can understand it's a tough one. They had to make cutbacks (at least I hope they did) on the presents due to their financial situation. And two out of three of their kids are not here for Christmas. It leaves pressure on the remaining kid to make it a good one. I thank God for my kids, their grandkids, because I think they are what will make this Christmas a joyous one for all of us.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Post Christmas, Pre-Hibernation
I thought I would write before we descend into the no-computer zone up in Idyllwild tomorrow. I'm looking forward to books, magazines, games, and DVDs at night. Of course, V. will have his new prized possession, his iPad, that I surprised him with for Christmas and that should work up there so we/he won't be completely cut off. The beauty of this hibernation is that it's a furlough week, a week without pay, which means that by law his f-up company cannot contact him. I will take that however I can get it. I got 95% of the packing done today so we can get out of here by late morning which is the strategy because as our Idyllwild luck would have it, there is a snowstorm predicted to hit tomorrow around 4pm. We've been there and done that before, the we-can't-reach-our-cabin-oh-shit moment, and for that reason we always stay as close to the beginning edge of town to try to avoid this. But just to be sure, we are going to try to get there at 2pm before the 40mph wind gusts and snow starts. Believe it or not, it's supposed to feel like 7 below zero by midnight tomorrow. It's going to be pretty doggone cold the whole time we're up there but that's how I like it.
Christmas was a mixed bag. Of course it was good with I. and having V. here for the first time in 3 years. Unfortunately my sister pissed me off several times, almost ruined dinner, and ruined my dessert. She did nothing to help all day and after we (my parents and I) spent 3 hours on dinner and it's almost time to sit down, she starts freaking out trying to find her phone, raising her voice loudly as she wandered the house. I. was having a hard time going to sleep so I told her to get out of the house before I. started calling for me a 4th time. At dinner, she proceeded to cut off 5 pieces of meat, a couple of bites of the sides and shove the remainder of the food onto her bread plate which was right next to my mom's plate. The plate looked like a vomit plate, the way everything was heaped up there. To make matters worse, after she finished her 12 bites of food, she started bugging my mom for more meat, specifically rare meat which there wasn't any left. She kept on until I finally told her to stop harping on my mom and to let her eat her food in peace. Such a bitch. Here's the kicker - when dessert, which consisted of 5 different flavors of cakes, was served everybody took 2 pieces and passed it. She took forever to take 3 pieces and then after everyone finally got a turn, she decided without taking one bite, that she wanted pieces of the other 2 that were left. My dad refused to pass it back down to her, saying that if she wanted more after she was done with what she had she could have some. Well, she threw a tantrum and got up, got 2 more pieces telling my dad that he was a control freak, and sat down. I lost it and told her that she should try making a nice dinner for 3 hours only to have someone throw it all on a "vomit plate" and then make a pig of themselves at dessert and see how well she liked it. I honestly wish she would just disappear - I really hate her. I know that may sound awful to say but after this kind of shit from 14-27 years old, I'm sick of it. Sick of how it ruins our holidays and any get togethers. My only solace is that when my parents are gone, I will have NO problem cutting her out of my life. I've been forced to endure this for so long, too long that when I no longer am required to do so, I will stop without any guilt. I've paid my penance.
V. and I had some time to ourselves to relax and have fun which was nice. This past week I've been so exhausted and it's been great having V. to get I. up in the morning and to help with things around the house. Within 30 minutes of waking up, I'm tired and just not feeling good pretty much until 5pm. It's hard for me to deal with. That's what is good about Idyllwild - no expectations of cleaning, taking care of animals, doing laundry, etc. Yes, I'll make meals and entertain I. but mentally being free of the other stuff really will help. I plan on taking walks in the cold mountain air, breathing in the smell of fireplaces burning, and seeing the forest of trees. I'm looking forward to hibernating.
Christmas was a mixed bag. Of course it was good with I. and having V. here for the first time in 3 years. Unfortunately my sister pissed me off several times, almost ruined dinner, and ruined my dessert. She did nothing to help all day and after we (my parents and I) spent 3 hours on dinner and it's almost time to sit down, she starts freaking out trying to find her phone, raising her voice loudly as she wandered the house. I. was having a hard time going to sleep so I told her to get out of the house before I. started calling for me a 4th time. At dinner, she proceeded to cut off 5 pieces of meat, a couple of bites of the sides and shove the remainder of the food onto her bread plate which was right next to my mom's plate. The plate looked like a vomit plate, the way everything was heaped up there. To make matters worse, after she finished her 12 bites of food, she started bugging my mom for more meat, specifically rare meat which there wasn't any left. She kept on until I finally told her to stop harping on my mom and to let her eat her food in peace. Such a bitch. Here's the kicker - when dessert, which consisted of 5 different flavors of cakes, was served everybody took 2 pieces and passed it. She took forever to take 3 pieces and then after everyone finally got a turn, she decided without taking one bite, that she wanted pieces of the other 2 that were left. My dad refused to pass it back down to her, saying that if she wanted more after she was done with what she had she could have some. Well, she threw a tantrum and got up, got 2 more pieces telling my dad that he was a control freak, and sat down. I lost it and told her that she should try making a nice dinner for 3 hours only to have someone throw it all on a "vomit plate" and then make a pig of themselves at dessert and see how well she liked it. I honestly wish she would just disappear - I really hate her. I know that may sound awful to say but after this kind of shit from 14-27 years old, I'm sick of it. Sick of how it ruins our holidays and any get togethers. My only solace is that when my parents are gone, I will have NO problem cutting her out of my life. I've been forced to endure this for so long, too long that when I no longer am required to do so, I will stop without any guilt. I've paid my penance.
V. and I had some time to ourselves to relax and have fun which was nice. This past week I've been so exhausted and it's been great having V. to get I. up in the morning and to help with things around the house. Within 30 minutes of waking up, I'm tired and just not feeling good pretty much until 5pm. It's hard for me to deal with. That's what is good about Idyllwild - no expectations of cleaning, taking care of animals, doing laundry, etc. Yes, I'll make meals and entertain I. but mentally being free of the other stuff really will help. I plan on taking walks in the cold mountain air, breathing in the smell of fireplaces burning, and seeing the forest of trees. I'm looking forward to hibernating.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Eve - Lessons Learned
Christmas Eve and I"m here sitting on the couch by myself but this year is SO much better than last year. First of all, I KNEW I was going to be sitting here by myself so that allowed me time to plan for it. Today was a really good day. I. and I baked for hours this morning - gingerbread for us and Santa, then cranberry almond bread and a baked egg dish for tomorrow's Christmas brunch at my parents'. We had fun cooking together and it felt good to be productive and stay at home most of the day with the Christmas music playing. It felt like Christmas Eve, not just a regular ole day. After she went to bed, I took a bath while reading a book and having a glass of wine.
Secondly, tonight V. and I were able to webcam and I got to see him open his presents up on his Christmas morning which was nice. Unfortunately, he won't get to see I. open her presents up tomorrow morning because all the staff is going out for Christmas dinner. Oh well, one out of two ain't bad.
Thirdly, I know from last year that watching a traditional Christmas show tonight by myself makes it worse. So, this year I watched my favorite movie, Fried Green Tomatoes and it feels special.
I wrote my first Santa note back to I. and I feel like an official adult parent. I even did it with my left hand like my dad used to do for me. Since I am Santa, I will be having a piece of gingerbread and a glass of milk before I go to bed. Mmmm.....
Secondly, tonight V. and I were able to webcam and I got to see him open his presents up on his Christmas morning which was nice. Unfortunately, he won't get to see I. open her presents up tomorrow morning because all the staff is going out for Christmas dinner. Oh well, one out of two ain't bad.
Thirdly, I know from last year that watching a traditional Christmas show tonight by myself makes it worse. So, this year I watched my favorite movie, Fried Green Tomatoes and it feels special.
I wrote my first Santa note back to I. and I feel like an official adult parent. I even did it with my left hand like my dad used to do for me. Since I am Santa, I will be having a piece of gingerbread and a glass of milk before I go to bed. Mmmm.....
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Our Christmas Tree
I realized that I never did post pictures of our tree (at least I didn't see where I did when I looked quickly). So here they are:
First Year of Decorating
Hanging Ornaments!
We Have a Good Size Tree!
First Year of Decorating
Hanging Ornaments!
We Have a Good Size Tree!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Today Turned Into a Good Day
Every day since V has been gone, I has thrown some sort of a whiny tantrum when V calls or when we've tried the webcam. She just doesn't know how to handle or communicate the overwhelming emotions she must be feeling. I try to help her - "Mommy misses Daddy. Do you miss Daddy?" and she responds but it's with words from her brain and it doesn't seem to let off the steam from her heart and then it percolates until she hears/sees him and then it explodes. My brain understands it but when I want to hear V's voice and I is screaming, I get irritated and banish her to the bathroom. Hopefully this will get better somehow, someway since we still have 5-6 months of this crap to go through.
Anyways, the day got better in the afternoon in a roundabout way. Mark and his wife and new son were planning on coming over this afternoon to collect their cats and visit. The rain was just pouring down so they cancelled and will come tomorrow. While I was excited to see them, I was feeling guilty because I've wanted to spend some quality downtime at home with I but with errands, the gym, and her early bedtime, it seems we are always on the go. But since our plans fell through, we ended up baking, which we enjoy doing together, pumpkin cranberry bread with the rain pouring outside, the Christmas music on inside and the tree lit up and cheering us up. Then we read some special Christmas books I only get out at this time of year and it just was what the doctor ordered. We snuggled, laughed,and her bedtime was bathed in contentment.
Thank God for a rainy day!
Anyways, the day got better in the afternoon in a roundabout way. Mark and his wife and new son were planning on coming over this afternoon to collect their cats and visit. The rain was just pouring down so they cancelled and will come tomorrow. While I was excited to see them, I was feeling guilty because I've wanted to spend some quality downtime at home with I but with errands, the gym, and her early bedtime, it seems we are always on the go. But since our plans fell through, we ended up baking, which we enjoy doing together, pumpkin cranberry bread with the rain pouring outside, the Christmas music on inside and the tree lit up and cheering us up. Then we read some special Christmas books I only get out at this time of year and it just was what the doctor ordered. We snuggled, laughed,and her bedtime was bathed in contentment.
Thank God for a rainy day!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Keeping Perspective
Well we finished up the tree and it looks really good. With V being gone, I'm really getting to enjoy the tree a whole lot. Here's the finished product.
Today I took I to a Junior Theater play and she really enjoyed it. This was her second one and again, she sat through an hour without any problem. She would look up at me with this little smile and huge eyes like "Wow, I like this Mommy!" On our way home, I said that maybe next time Daddy could come with us like he did the first time we went. Then I said, "I miss Daddy." A few seconds passed, as her little brain purred, and then she said, "Me too." I taped up our Christmas card over her changing table so now she says Good morning, good night and kisses Daddy throughout the day.
There's a lot going on with this girl 'cause when Daddy calls in the morning, you can count on I acting up, whining, being naughty and throwing tantrums. Every morning that he's been gone has been tough which is weird because he's been gone before, plenty of time. I don't know if it's because I've told her that Daddy is going to be gone for a long time or if it's because he left his car in the garage. Whenever we arrive home, she thinks Daddy is home and I think it's probably like ripping a newly formed scab off. I know the feeling but at least I have that mature perspective that she cannot possibly have yet.
Tomorrow Mark is coming over to collect his cats. I get to see him for the first time since July and get to meet his new son. I just need to prepare myself for the fact that he's 20 lbs. lighter and has lost his hair. I'm excited though and can't wait to see him.
Today I took I to a Junior Theater play and she really enjoyed it. This was her second one and again, she sat through an hour without any problem. She would look up at me with this little smile and huge eyes like "Wow, I like this Mommy!" On our way home, I said that maybe next time Daddy could come with us like he did the first time we went. Then I said, "I miss Daddy." A few seconds passed, as her little brain purred, and then she said, "Me too." I taped up our Christmas card over her changing table so now she says Good morning, good night and kisses Daddy throughout the day.
There's a lot going on with this girl 'cause when Daddy calls in the morning, you can count on I acting up, whining, being naughty and throwing tantrums. Every morning that he's been gone has been tough which is weird because he's been gone before, plenty of time. I don't know if it's because I've told her that Daddy is going to be gone for a long time or if it's because he left his car in the garage. Whenever we arrive home, she thinks Daddy is home and I think it's probably like ripping a newly formed scab off. I know the feeling but at least I have that mature perspective that she cannot possibly have yet.
Tomorrow Mark is coming over to collect his cats. I get to see him for the first time since July and get to meet his new son. I just need to prepare myself for the fact that he's 20 lbs. lighter and has lost his hair. I'm excited though and can't wait to see him.
Monday, December 8, 2008
It's Almost Here
You probably assume I'm talking about Christmas but I'm not. I'm talking about V leaving for Saudi Arabia for 2 weeks and that day is tomorrow. This is the beginning of a six month tour of duty (no he's not in the military). Next month it will probably be three weeks there, one week back home (but still working). And now it's the day before he leaves and inevitably, I'm feeling sad and worried. I don't like him this far away and specifically in that country. He's flying hoome on the 23rd which doesn't give him a lot of wiggle room if something goes wrong with the flight.
Enough about that - can't control so just need to let it go. On a better note, we got our Christmas tree yesterday and got the lights on it and Isabella was really excited about it.
Over the next couple of days, we'll get the ornaments on it little by little until it is a perfect Christmas tree. Every tree is a perfect Christmas tree once we get all of our family ornaments on it. Telling Isabella the story behind each one is one of the things I look forward to the most. She won't understand too much of them this year, but as the years go on, I will enjoy passing on the stories to her. Ah, Christmas through a child's eyes - there is nothing like it! I'm so grateful that I've been given this chance!
Enough about that - can't control so just need to let it go. On a better note, we got our Christmas tree yesterday and got the lights on it and Isabella was really excited about it.
Over the next couple of days, we'll get the ornaments on it little by little until it is a perfect Christmas tree. Every tree is a perfect Christmas tree once we get all of our family ornaments on it. Telling Isabella the story behind each one is one of the things I look forward to the most. She won't understand too much of them this year, but as the years go on, I will enjoy passing on the stories to her. Ah, Christmas through a child's eyes - there is nothing like it! I'm so grateful that I've been given this chance!
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