The second part of my conversation with my mom yesterday was finding out that my brother would not be around for Christmas which added to my parents' depression. So I jumped into ad-lib mode and invited my parents over for Christmas Day. This is huge, I've never had any major holiday at my home, whatever home I've had. My mom didn't think that my dad would go for it but lo and behold, I talk to them this morning and they're all for it. Waking up to no tree, no decorations or lights, and no kids until lunchtime is too much to handle and I understand that, thus the invitation for a different Christmas this year.
It's a different Christmas for us as well. Until last year, Christmas morning was us opening gifts (excluding V.'s and mine) quickly so that V. could hit the road for the 3 hour round trip taking the girls back home. Last year, the girls came down on Christmas Eve afternoon and drove themselves home Christmas morning. This year will be the first year that I. does not have her sisters here for Christmas morning, well excluding the year V. was in Saudi Arabia and no one was here for Christmas. But this will be the first year that we get to stay at home all Christmas Day. What a treat...except
For the fact that now I had to go into overdrive mode trying to provide a nice Christmas table. This is not completely me putting the stress on me. My father resisted a less stress Christmas dinner when I suggested it for my mother's sake citing childhood trauma and memories so I know I need to provide a sort of special ambiance for the dinner. Luckily my mom and I discussed the itinerary of the Christmas dinner so I think we're in sync there and thank goodness for Amazon, I was able to put together a pretty Christmas table (I hope) most of which will arrive on Christmas Eve afternoon.
It's a mixture of emotions. I'm happy for my little family because this is the first one that we celebrate just us Christmas morning. It's not that I want to exclude the girls because that's not it. It's having Daddy, Mommy, and 2 excited, young, Santa believing kids in the home that morning that is a first for us. I'm also happy that V. doesn't have to drive 3 hours on Christmas morning and meet us at my parents' home separate from us. It's looking forward to having some time to explore and play with the toys that we give them instead of having to get ready and head over to my parents' house in the morning.
Yet I feel a responsibility to make this Christmas a happy one for my parents. As a parent and adult I can understand it's a tough one. They had to make cutbacks (at least I hope they did) on the presents due to their financial situation. And two out of three of their kids are not here for Christmas. It leaves pressure on the remaining kid to make it a good one. I thank God for my kids, their grandkids, because I think they are what will make this Christmas a joyous one for all of us.
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