I don't want to be an alarmist by any means but something was going on throughout the night and I'm not sure what it was. To start with, I was really tired yesterday by noon. My legs felt like lead and I didn't feel much like eating. Okay, I get it - I'm very pregnant and that's all probably very normal.
But then in the middle of the night I woke up with strange belly pain and it lasted throughout the night. It didn't feel like contractions, false or otherwise, so it was hard to describe. My belly just felt really sore, kind of muscle cramping especially in the top half of it and it hurt enough to wake me up and keep me up.
This morning seems normal enough. My legs do feel like lead again and I'm tired but I didn't sleep well either so that makes sense. The pain isn't there but my belly is rather hard this morning. The baby is moving and grooving so I know he is fine. Me? Well, I'm not so sure on that. I guess we'll just wait and see.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
One Day At A Time
My day at the spa was wonderful. I quietly hung out by myself, reading and relaxing, as I rested my feet in the whirlpool and hung out in the dimmed relaxation room awaiting my massage appointment. The massage felt really good but I have to admit that I am looking forward to a complete massage, not one that avoids all the feel good places that could trigger contractions. I hung out there for about 4 hours and drove home in the late afternoon when usually I'm putting Isabella in the bath and bed. The hubby and I also scored on 2 date dinners which is unheard of and provided a nice hang out time for us.
I also happily got belly pictures taken with I. this week so that I can remember this basketball belly and how I. and I shared this exciting time together. I haven't seen the pictures but I am hopeful that many of them turned out well. I seem to take good pictures with I. Must be the love shining through...
Yesterday we took I. to the circus and had a great time. The looks on her face were priceless and I found myself surreptiously watching her face instead of the circus. I really enjoyed every moment of it. And to cap it off, as soon as it ended, I. gave me and V. two big hugs of thanks which really warmed my heart. It's always a balance of giving your kid a lot without giving too much and lowering their appreciation quotient.
Sleep is proving more difficult as the days go by. My hips are hurting for lying on my sides all night and I've been waking up from weird, chaotic dreams thanks to burning pains in my rib cage thanks to the little guy exerting constant pressure on it. He moves all the time just like he always have but I can tell the movement is more limited so he is definitely still growing and running into space issues. Aren't we all running into space issues? I'm having a difficult time getting my head around the fact that he may be here in as soon as 2 weeks, maybe 3. It's hard for me to picture for some reason. A big part of me is a little melancholy that he will no longer be inside me. For all the uncomfortable moments, it truly is a miracle when he and I are able to interact during this time and since it will be the last time, and I know that (or it had better be the last time!), I'm starting to become wistful about it. I wish this wasn't part of my temperament but it just is and I will just have to roll with it and concentrate on enjoying all of this last month's experiences fully.
I also happily got belly pictures taken with I. this week so that I can remember this basketball belly and how I. and I shared this exciting time together. I haven't seen the pictures but I am hopeful that many of them turned out well. I seem to take good pictures with I. Must be the love shining through...
Yesterday we took I. to the circus and had a great time. The looks on her face were priceless and I found myself surreptiously watching her face instead of the circus. I really enjoyed every moment of it. And to cap it off, as soon as it ended, I. gave me and V. two big hugs of thanks which really warmed my heart. It's always a balance of giving your kid a lot without giving too much and lowering their appreciation quotient.
Sleep is proving more difficult as the days go by. My hips are hurting for lying on my sides all night and I've been waking up from weird, chaotic dreams thanks to burning pains in my rib cage thanks to the little guy exerting constant pressure on it. He moves all the time just like he always have but I can tell the movement is more limited so he is definitely still growing and running into space issues. Aren't we all running into space issues? I'm having a difficult time getting my head around the fact that he may be here in as soon as 2 weeks, maybe 3. It's hard for me to picture for some reason. A big part of me is a little melancholy that he will no longer be inside me. For all the uncomfortable moments, it truly is a miracle when he and I are able to interact during this time and since it will be the last time, and I know that (or it had better be the last time!), I'm starting to become wistful about it. I wish this wasn't part of my temperament but it just is and I will just have to roll with it and concentrate on enjoying all of this last month's experiences fully.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Mommy's Time Off
I can't believe it's been almost a week since I last posted. Time is flying by and it makes me nervous. So what's been going on?
Well, last Thursday we finally did my mom's Mother's Day present and I. and I took her by train to San Juan Capistrano to a day of a petting zoo, lunch, and browsing around time. She's a big time train lover so she loved it and really the day was wonderful. It was relaxing on all levels and we all just had so much fun talking, experiencing, and being with one another. Some times together are better than others and this was one of the really good ones. I wonder if some of it was because in the morning when I got up, I said to myself, "Today is going to be a fun day, a day of memories." I feel like that mindset helped me relax and just stay in the moment. I'll have to test out that theory on another day. Maybe I should start chanting that to myself when I go into labor?? Perhaps I'll find a substitute word for "fun"; that may be a stretch.
Sunday we enjoyed a nice bday celebration for my brother at my parents' house. It was so nice to be able to get ready for that day and be looking forward to it without worrying about my sister and her behavior. It's like night and day how I feel before going over to a family event now. I. spent the night there and will be there until I pick her up on Wednesday afternoon. She's been asking to spend 3 nights over there for the last few months so we finally scheduled it. I miss her but I've got to say that I have no problem entertaining myself. I know this is going to be the last chance that I will have for a few years to just relax and enjoy so I'm kind of going all out. Usually when she spends time with my parents, I use the time to get projects and errands done but not this time. Yesterday, I attempted to sleep in but the little guy had different ideas and started to do all his acrobatics around 7am. I figured he'd stop at some point, which he did, and that then I would try to go back to sleep. However, right after he stopped kicking around, the hiccups started and those can go on for 10-15 minutes so I gave up and got up. Went to the chiropractor, went to an early movie, did one errand, grabbed some lunch and then met my friend Terry for coffee at 2pm. Even though we've talked many times over the last months, we hadn't actually seen each other for 8 months or so. It was great to just relax and catch up. To cap off the day, V. and I went out to a fun, nice dinner. It was just all around a perfect kind of day.
Today I'm going all out and will be getting a massage in the early afternoon at a hotel day spa. I'm planning on maximizing the money by getting down there early and using the spa facilities and relax. It should be nice. I researched all the prenatal massages around here and this one not only looked really nice, they didn't gouge you like the other places did. No matter how good a massage is, it's hard for me to emjoy it if I'm being gouged. Except of course when we go to Vegas and go to the spa at the Venetian/Palazzo but you don't feel like you're being gouged because the facilities are so palatial and over the top wonderful, you still feel like it was worth every dime.
That's the plan and hopefully a cheap Taco Tuesday dinner at El Torito with the hubby tonight. When you don't get out of the house after 3:30 every single day like me, being out in the evening is a real treat. On the baby side of things, he has dropped much lower, which allows me to eat and breathe, but results in all sorts of groin and belly pains as well as a marked increase in Braxton-Hicks contractions. I probably have 25-35 a day now and they are starting to get strong at times. Officially, we're 4-5 weeks away but I think 3-4 weeks is more realistic. I can't believe it how it's right around the corner. Okay, better not think about it any more or I'll start getting stressed. On to my relaxing day....
Well, last Thursday we finally did my mom's Mother's Day present and I. and I took her by train to San Juan Capistrano to a day of a petting zoo, lunch, and browsing around time. She's a big time train lover so she loved it and really the day was wonderful. It was relaxing on all levels and we all just had so much fun talking, experiencing, and being with one another. Some times together are better than others and this was one of the really good ones. I wonder if some of it was because in the morning when I got up, I said to myself, "Today is going to be a fun day, a day of memories." I feel like that mindset helped me relax and just stay in the moment. I'll have to test out that theory on another day. Maybe I should start chanting that to myself when I go into labor?? Perhaps I'll find a substitute word for "fun"; that may be a stretch.
Sunday we enjoyed a nice bday celebration for my brother at my parents' house. It was so nice to be able to get ready for that day and be looking forward to it without worrying about my sister and her behavior. It's like night and day how I feel before going over to a family event now. I. spent the night there and will be there until I pick her up on Wednesday afternoon. She's been asking to spend 3 nights over there for the last few months so we finally scheduled it. I miss her but I've got to say that I have no problem entertaining myself. I know this is going to be the last chance that I will have for a few years to just relax and enjoy so I'm kind of going all out. Usually when she spends time with my parents, I use the time to get projects and errands done but not this time. Yesterday, I attempted to sleep in but the little guy had different ideas and started to do all his acrobatics around 7am. I figured he'd stop at some point, which he did, and that then I would try to go back to sleep. However, right after he stopped kicking around, the hiccups started and those can go on for 10-15 minutes so I gave up and got up. Went to the chiropractor, went to an early movie, did one errand, grabbed some lunch and then met my friend Terry for coffee at 2pm. Even though we've talked many times over the last months, we hadn't actually seen each other for 8 months or so. It was great to just relax and catch up. To cap off the day, V. and I went out to a fun, nice dinner. It was just all around a perfect kind of day.
Today I'm going all out and will be getting a massage in the early afternoon at a hotel day spa. I'm planning on maximizing the money by getting down there early and using the spa facilities and relax. It should be nice. I researched all the prenatal massages around here and this one not only looked really nice, they didn't gouge you like the other places did. No matter how good a massage is, it's hard for me to emjoy it if I'm being gouged. Except of course when we go to Vegas and go to the spa at the Venetian/Palazzo but you don't feel like you're being gouged because the facilities are so palatial and over the top wonderful, you still feel like it was worth every dime.
That's the plan and hopefully a cheap Taco Tuesday dinner at El Torito with the hubby tonight. When you don't get out of the house after 3:30 every single day like me, being out in the evening is a real treat. On the baby side of things, he has dropped much lower, which allows me to eat and breathe, but results in all sorts of groin and belly pains as well as a marked increase in Braxton-Hicks contractions. I probably have 25-35 a day now and they are starting to get strong at times. Officially, we're 4-5 weeks away but I think 3-4 weeks is more realistic. I can't believe it how it's right around the corner. Okay, better not think about it any more or I'll start getting stressed. On to my relaxing day....
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Justice?
How can I be a mother and not comment on yesterday's not guilty verdict? Based on the fact that there wasn't any physical evidence tying her to the murder, I knew in my mind that Casey Anthony would get off. However, in my heart, I was hoping beyond hope that there would be some justice meeted out for a mother who so obviously was involved directly or indirectly in killing her own daughter. If your child goes missing, you don't make up lies for 31 days about what has happened to her, go out and get a tattoo about how great your life is, and party it up like it's 1999. You just don't. And I think that every decent mother out there knows that those facts alone point to the fact that she did it. She somehow, with or without help, got rid of her own child.
The only comfort I can take is that in my professional past, all the people who were unethical and conducted themselves dishonorably eventually got what they had coming to them. My mantra when dealing with those people was "Someday I will stand by the banks of the river and watch their dead bodies go floating by." And you know what - every single one of them did float on by after they were exposed to be the exact people I said they were even though they had everyone else snowed.
I just hope that sort of thing happens to Casey Anthony. Even though she feels like she's gotten away with something, someday she will reap what she has sowed and a just punishment will be meeted out for her. I just have to believe that.
The only comfort I can take is that in my professional past, all the people who were unethical and conducted themselves dishonorably eventually got what they had coming to them. My mantra when dealing with those people was "Someday I will stand by the banks of the river and watch their dead bodies go floating by." And you know what - every single one of them did float on by after they were exposed to be the exact people I said they were even though they had everyone else snowed.
I just hope that sort of thing happens to Casey Anthony. Even though she feels like she's gotten away with something, someday she will reap what she has sowed and a just punishment will be meeted out for her. I just have to believe that.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Productive Day
I think yesterday was one of the most productive "home day" we've ever had. V. had a list of 3 things to get done and successfully completed them which is a miracle in and of itself. He is so unused to doing projects of any sort around the house because he's always been a renter/apartment dweller. I got a whole bunch of stuff done too as well and finally feel like the house is at a point where the baby could come and we'd be in good shape. Whew!
Now after hibernating together for 3 days, it's back to reality. You know, grocery store, laundry, etc. Including I.'s complaining and attitude. I know I can't be the only person to have a 5 year old who thinks that every day should be all about fun and gets pissy when things need to get done in between some fun. It's still aggravating to me. Hopefully this morning's complaints will taper off and the rest of the day goes more smoothly.
Now after hibernating together for 3 days, it's back to reality. You know, grocery store, laundry, etc. Including I.'s complaining and attitude. I know I can't be the only person to have a 5 year old who thinks that every day should be all about fun and gets pissy when things need to get done in between some fun. It's still aggravating to me. Hopefully this morning's complaints will taper off and the rest of the day goes more smoothly.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Close To Normal
Yesterday I think we came as close to a "normal" family as we're going to get. It felt so good! In the morning we went to the gym to do a quick workout which allowed V. and I to talk by ourselves here and there. Afterwards, we drove out to La Jolla to pick up the suit I got V. for Father's Day and then decided to stop off at Iowa Meat Farms to see the meat that everyone talks about. This kind of trip is reminiscent of before V and I were married. On Sundays, we would venture out to remote areas of San Diego to educate him about this new city he was moving to. So yesterday's trip was kind of like that. We bought some yummy meat for bbq'ing in the afternoon and headed home.
Then we worked together to put together our early bbq dinner and sat down to eat together (indoors because it was a little too toasty outside). While this may not sound like a big deal, it is in our house because of V.'s schedule and I.'s early bedtime hour. The only dinner we usually eat together is our Saturday "linner" out. So to sit down at our dining room table and share a dinner at home is a special occasion.
In the evening, because V. and I had spent 2 whole days together, we started our usual "getting on the same wavelength" that happens when we spend time together. You know, like we'll say the same exact thing at the same time or he'll go to say something and I know word for word what he's going to say. He acts all freaked out about it but I know deep down, he feels as comforted and happy about it as I do. When you spend as much time apart as we have/do but still see evidence of that same-mindedness that brought us together and keeps us together relatively conflict-free, it gives a peace of mind and spirit that everything will be okay.
Then we worked together to put together our early bbq dinner and sat down to eat together (indoors because it was a little too toasty outside). While this may not sound like a big deal, it is in our house because of V.'s schedule and I.'s early bedtime hour. The only dinner we usually eat together is our Saturday "linner" out. So to sit down at our dining room table and share a dinner at home is a special occasion.
In the evening, because V. and I had spent 2 whole days together, we started our usual "getting on the same wavelength" that happens when we spend time together. You know, like we'll say the same exact thing at the same time or he'll go to say something and I know word for word what he's going to say. He acts all freaked out about it but I know deep down, he feels as comforted and happy about it as I do. When you spend as much time apart as we have/do but still see evidence of that same-mindedness that brought us together and keeps us together relatively conflict-free, it gives a peace of mind and spirit that everything will be okay.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Holiday Weekend Kickoff
I didn't have time to post in the morning as we were rushing around trying to get I. to her morning summer camp at her preschool Monday thru Thursday and then early gymnastics' class on Friday. We are going to have to get a whole lot better at this once kindergarten starts especially because we'll have to be leaving the house 30 minutes earlier and there will be 2 rugrats to deal with. Of course, depending on the new little guy's eating schedule, I may be up at 5:30 in the morning and will have no problem getting us out of the house early. So I won't dedicate much thought to it.
It was a good week, albeit a somewhat busy week. I did get a little quiet time some mornings while I. was at camp. I got my hair cut which is always a good thing and I got quite a few errands done as well. I may have overdone it the last 2 days though. On Thursday, I fit in 4 different errands (one was 25 minutes away) between 9:15 and 11:45, picked I. up from camp, met my parents for lunch before our last ultrasound appointment. It may not sound like too much (I didn't think so either) but by 4pm, I wasn't feeling very well, just so tired. It didn't help that for some reason, I. has been falling asleep about 1.5 hours later so her behavior was bordering on pissy and defiant. Yesterday, we went to gymnastics class in the morning and then off to the fair for the rest of the day, just I. and I. It was a nice time but it got really warm and by the end of our day, I again was not feeling very well. Heavy belly, tired, overheated - you get the picture. But it was fun to watch I. on one of the scary roller coaster ride; she was by far the smallest, was riding by herself, and purposely picked the very last car since it's the scariest one. She had a combined look of terror and pure joy as that thing whipped around. I was so proud of her daringness (is that a word?) and I laughed as she shrieked at the top of her lungs.
I was also proud of her as I watched her in gymnastics. The class I registered for got cancelled so the one that they put her in is actually 2-3 class levels above what she was in before. Not only is it 1.5 hours long instead of 40 minutes, it's so much more difficult than her other class. The other 3 girls have obviously been at this level for at least a couple of classes so I. is well behind. Yesterday was her 2nd class and she was shocking the teacher by how well she was doing. She's going to be one of those kids that does better when she is really challenged rather than get discouraged and give up. That inner fortitude and resilience is what I love about her. It's also what makes raising her on a daily basis so challenging.
I'm hoping for a family-building, productive weekend. We're not going over to my parents' house so that my sister can celebrate 4th of July with them since next weekend will be my brother's birthday and she won't be there for that. I think this is the first 4th of July I've spent at home. Isn't that weird? So off I go to kick off this holiday weekend...
It was a good week, albeit a somewhat busy week. I did get a little quiet time some mornings while I. was at camp. I got my hair cut which is always a good thing and I got quite a few errands done as well. I may have overdone it the last 2 days though. On Thursday, I fit in 4 different errands (one was 25 minutes away) between 9:15 and 11:45, picked I. up from camp, met my parents for lunch before our last ultrasound appointment. It may not sound like too much (I didn't think so either) but by 4pm, I wasn't feeling very well, just so tired. It didn't help that for some reason, I. has been falling asleep about 1.5 hours later so her behavior was bordering on pissy and defiant. Yesterday, we went to gymnastics class in the morning and then off to the fair for the rest of the day, just I. and I. It was a nice time but it got really warm and by the end of our day, I again was not feeling very well. Heavy belly, tired, overheated - you get the picture. But it was fun to watch I. on one of the scary roller coaster ride; she was by far the smallest, was riding by herself, and purposely picked the very last car since it's the scariest one. She had a combined look of terror and pure joy as that thing whipped around. I was so proud of her daringness (is that a word?) and I laughed as she shrieked at the top of her lungs.
I was also proud of her as I watched her in gymnastics. The class I registered for got cancelled so the one that they put her in is actually 2-3 class levels above what she was in before. Not only is it 1.5 hours long instead of 40 minutes, it's so much more difficult than her other class. The other 3 girls have obviously been at this level for at least a couple of classes so I. is well behind. Yesterday was her 2nd class and she was shocking the teacher by how well she was doing. She's going to be one of those kids that does better when she is really challenged rather than get discouraged and give up. That inner fortitude and resilience is what I love about her. It's also what makes raising her on a daily basis so challenging.
I'm hoping for a family-building, productive weekend. We're not going over to my parents' house so that my sister can celebrate 4th of July with them since next weekend will be my brother's birthday and she won't be there for that. I think this is the first 4th of July I've spent at home. Isn't that weird? So off I go to kick off this holiday weekend...
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