Drama Warm Up

Oh my gosh, I don't know that I am going to make it through this day.  Seriously.  I've got to hurry and get this crap out of my brain before we hit the road to my parents' or I am liable to explode.

Got a phone call from my mom which was expected since they always call and tell us to come later than they thought.  What's aggravating off the bat though is that she leaves a voicemail telling me to call her instead of just telling me the new time or better yet, send me a text with the new time.  The reason she wants me to call is that she wants to spend 10 minutes telling me why we have to come later, all the gory details that I don't care to know and then explain how much more and what it is she has left to do.  It's stupid.

So I grit my teeth as she did indeed launch into "how many more bad things can happen to us".  I had just enough patience to deal with that as I moved through the grocery aisles to pick a few things up.  However, when I said something about putting the kiddos to bed by 6pm, she gets this whiny, wheedling tone and says, "Oh can't I. stay up and see the fireworks?  Sienna (Aaron's girlfriend's daughter who is the same age) is going to get to stay up and watch them."  I laughed and answered, "And she probably wasn't up at 4:30 this morning and probably will sleep in until 9:00 tomorrow."  She wouldn't let up and said, "Oh that's just so sad and that's going to make I. feel bad.  Why can't you make an exception this one time?"  Okay, so now I'm mad because I've tried to be nice and now she's attempting to make me feel like I'm the mean mom and I should feel bad or guilty about this.  So I told her that if I. was going to bed normally at 7:30 or something like that, I'd consider making the exception but that keeping her up for almost 5 hours past her bedtime was ridiculous and that she would be absolutely miserable the whole time plus the entire next day at the very least.  Plus, I could just count on her getting sick with a cold and then D. would get it because that is how it has worked for the past 7 years. 

I know both my parents will give me some sad hangdog look when I say it's time to go to bed and I fully expect my dad to make a comment as well.  Because that's how it's always been - if they think they know best then they will keep making comments as a team and expect you to just take it silently or finally acquiesce and do what they want.  That's what I usually did as a kid just to keep the peace and get them to let up on me.  I'm not willing to do that and frankly, I'm tired of being poked between the bars and then getting called "nasty" when I actually react to the jabs.

And honestly, I really don't give a flying fuck what Aaron's girlfriend allows her daughter to do.  She also has the kid spend the night on the couch and they go sleep together in the adjoining bedroom.  Is that a good idea?  Should I look to her for parenting advice and direction?  So bite me.

We haven't even gotten there and already there's this. 

War Tactics

Talked with my mom today and warned her that a letter addressed to me may be arriving at their home in response to my email.   She mentioned again that although they have repeatedly told my sister that she is not to contact them via phone, only in writing, she continues to call them 15-20 times a day beginning at 7:30 am.  My parents have enough stresses, both financial and physical, to be dealing with this harassment. 

I did some research, made a phone call to the jail, and then spent over an hour, waiting to be connected online via chat to the company that handles jail phone calls.  Finally after all was said and done, in 24 hours, when she attempts to call my parents' phones she will be told the number is restricted and cannot be connected.  I feel pretty doggone good right now.  I think I'll wait until my parents come over on Friday afternoon to visit and then ask if they got any calls from her that morning. 

The only thing I'm debating right now is whether to send her an email in a couple/few days telling her that it was I who blocked her calls, not my parents.  It's not a case of me taking credit for it, it's a matter of not letting my parents take the venomous hit for it.  If she's going to go after someone, I'd rather it be a person who no longer can be played based on guilt and that's me.

Sometimes Enough is Enough

Ever since I received that voice mail from my sister I have thought about sending her an email, setting the record straight and what she needs to do while she's sitting in jail.  I held back, figuring it would do no good, maybe it was even mean to send her an email while she's in jail.  I am a nice person and wouldn't feel good about doing something that could be construed as kicking someone while they are down even if that someone was my sister.

However, all that changed yesterday while I was at my parents' house for Mother's Day.  Coincidentally, yesterday marked 2 years to the day since I last subjected myself to my sister and when I had decided that I would not endure any more.  She had sent my dad a birthday card and my mother a card for Mother's Day.  I was surprised until my mother told me to read the cards and then I realized why she had sent them.  Not for the normal reason of wanting to acknowledge someone else but simply as a vehicle to harass and attack in her "I'm better than you" way.  I swear, her and Jodi Arias would be best friends because they think the same way.  My father's card was just obnoxious and insincere but my mother's card began with a snotty tirade about their request that she sign the release form to allow them to verify with the jail that she indeed is getting all the help that she purports to be getting.  I should back up for a second and mention that my mom was telling me last week about a 45 minute phone call she had with my sister who spun up some really amazing claims and stories of vicitimization and talked about how much help she was getting etc.  I pointed out to my mom that none of what she was saying added up and that I thought it was all BS and she was manipulating them once again because they said they wouldn't help when she got out unless she got help while she was in jail.  I told my mom to have my dad email her and ask her to sign the release so that they could verify the facts and that if she refused, they basically had their answer of whether or not she was telling the truth.

So back to my mom's card and my sister's snotty tirade which ended with telling my mom it was none of her business.  That set me off and I told my mom that my sister just earned herself an email from me.  It took me awhile to write it.  I didn't want to be cruel but I did want her to know that I know she's full of it and that I would be working hard to make sure my parents knew she was full of it.  It was kind of a declaration of war on my part - there is no longer anything under a polite surface.  She will know exactly where I stand and that I am actively working to debunk her.  It won't make a difference but today, I feel better and mentally lighter.  It felt good to stand up to a bad person, to let that sort of a person know that I'm onto them and it's game on baby!  It will be interesting to see if she writes me a letter back (to my parents' house, I certainly wouldn't give her MY address).  Have to stay tuned for that.

Here's what I wrote:

We all want you to get help while you’re in jail.  If you were diabetic, you’d be under a doctor’s care and receiving medication.  The only difference is that your brain needs the medication.

You told our parents that you were getting mental help in jail.  I called there and verified that you hadn’t received any mental attention or therapy.  I told M&D to ask you to sign the release so that they could verify and know that what you say is true.  If you refused to sign it, then they would know that you were lying and just continuing to manipulate them.  Big surprise, you refused.

You told Momma it wasn’t any of her business whether you are getting help or not?  So maybe it’s not any of their business to pay for all your prepaid phone cards, your groceries, your rented rooms, your health insurance etc.?  Perhaps you should rethink your snotty comments and sign the release.

And just for the record, my kids are with me 24/7 except for when they visit M&D for a few days throughout the year.  There is no room to “plant your feet in” as you put it.  None of us have a room in M&D’s house any more, we’re all adults.  It is only their house from now on.

Justice?

How can I be a mother and not comment on yesterday's not guilty verdict? Based on the fact that there wasn't any physical evidence tying her to the murder, I knew in my mind that Casey Anthony would get off. However, in my heart, I was hoping beyond hope that there would be some justice meeted out for a mother who so obviously was involved directly or indirectly in killing her own daughter. If your child goes missing, you don't make up lies for 31 days about what has happened to her, go out and get a tattoo about how great your life is, and party it up like it's 1999. You just don't. And I think that every decent mother out there knows that those facts alone point to the fact that she did it. She somehow, with or without help, got rid of her own child.

The only comfort I can take is that in my professional past, all the people who were unethical and conducted themselves dishonorably eventually got what they had coming to them. My mantra when dealing with those people was "Someday I will stand by the banks of the river and watch their dead bodies go floating by." And you know what - every single one of them did float on by after they were exposed to be the exact people I said they were even though they had everyone else snowed.

I just hope that sort of thing happens to Casey Anthony. Even though she feels like she's gotten away with something, someday she will reap what she has sowed and a just punishment will be meeted out for her. I just have to believe that.

Warning: You're About To Enter the 40 Zone

I am much, much, much too tired from our Vegas trip to go into great detail right now but I will and soon. I need to download the pictures from the camera so that I can include them on the post. So for now, a quick word from your sponsor...

"Do you want to ease back into your normal worklife after being on vacation? If so, do NOT accidently schedule your annual ob/gyn appointment on your first day back!"

Yeah, unwittingly that's what happened and boy did my vacation mode grind to a dead stop. First of all, there's nothing like having a "normal" conversation as the medieval instrument used to prop open your wahoo is being cranked open. Secondly, now because I'm 40, it appears I get added bonuses to my appointment now. If it wasn't bad enough to have my boobs pushed and prodded lying down, as an added attraction, I get to have the same done sitting up. BONUS! Plus, I get the extra ride coupon for my first mammogram. Honestly, I know it's me but I felt like I should have an advertisement for burial crypts attached to that lab referral form. I think it's just left over from when I was pregnant - I was 34 when I got pregnant and then when I turned 35 (still same pregnancy), all these questions about "special" genetic tests and risks from advanced maternal age. So in 24 hours I went from a great pregnancy to an at-risk pregnancy. Bullshit.

Then to top it all off, as a reward for making it to 40, I got to have a rectal exam to check for...well let's just leave it as "things that do not belong up there". Oh joy, oh rapture. I thought I dreaded this exam before, but oh baby, I can promise you I REALLY will be dreading this exam next year. I can't wait to see what 50 brings. Maybe I'll just ask my mom now so I can have a decade to prepare for the next humiliation.

You've Got to Be Fucking Kidding Me

An unplanned extra drink tonight. I thought today was going well until it wasn't.

Toy Story 3 was good, not too sad unless you were going through empty nest syndrome right now. We both enjoyed the popcorn and some cuddling - that's always good.

The afternoon consisted of getting I.'s stuff in the washing machine, taking one cat to get a shot and then coming home and watching I.'s baby videos on the television. Everything was good until we got upstairs and that reoccuring (lately) problem of backtalking and attitude. raised its ugly head. I've got to find an instant "go-to" response to that, one that works that is.

I. has been up twice hungry (9:30 and 10:15pm) and I've given her food twice. Now I have to stay up to wait til she falls asleep and I can close her door to keep the cats out. Meanwhile, all hell has broken loose...

My friend Terry sent a text message at 5:30 saying, can you go for coffee tomorrow? I was planning on the gym but since Mark's death hit me like a ton of bricks in the shower tonight, I was scared that maybe I would break down at the gym. So I decided that coffee with Terry would be much preferable. Then I thought we would take flowers to Mark's grave in the afternoon seeing that tomorrow is his anniversary. Sounds good, huh?

I got a phonecall/voicemail from Jodi at 7:30 saying the party was cancelled and to keep her and Hunter in her thoughts. Okay, but then at 10pm, Brian (Mark's friend) texts me that he's banned from Hunter and Jodi's life. After a brief text exchange, I find out that I AM ALSO BANISHED because anyone who has anything to do with Mark's party on Saturday is banished from their lives. Tomorrow I hope to talk to Brian and find out exactly what happened.

Not only that, I then go on to FB and see that I've been REMOVED from her friends' list. I still want to take flowers to Mark's grave and I think I still will. I haven't had any convo with Jodi and this is the first anniversary. I want to put flowers on his grave. If she's there, let her bring up the unpleasantry, I'm not going to. I'm there for Mark, not her and her petty, vulgar bullshit. Why, why does this kind of drama and stress have to surround this sad, grieving time?

FUCK HER!