Why So Quiet?

I realize I haven't posted for almost a week. It wasn't that there wasn't anything to post about. It was mainly because the things that were going on were highly aggravating and took up so much mental energy that I just could not bring myself to blog about them at night.

I think the key word for this week has been "overwhelmed". It was frustrating enough to be the middle man with the insurance people and contractor; trying to babysit necessary steps through the process in order to get the house put back together. And no, as of today, we still are missing ceilings and floors so that tells you just how successful my efforts have been on this endeavor.

Add to this insurance project the fact that the car insurance claim for when we were rearended is still not complete. The chiropractor has not submitted any bills to my insurance company. Meanwhile, the other person's insurance company is trying to get me to settle with them with a low maximum amount for doctor's costs. My fear is that if my insurance company cannot recover the medical costs from the other insurance company, they will come after us for the difference. With the medical event of having a baby this summer, I certainly don't want an unexpected bill arriving for something that wasn't my fault. So I need to nag the chiropractor to get their bills in for the last 2 months and call my insurance agent to see if this fear of mine is reality or make believe.

As though I didn't have enough insurance fun going on, my health insurance company decided that they were only going to pay $1.87 on the first trimester blood tests and leave the other $600+ for us to pay. Since we pay out the butt every month for this health insurance, receiving this bill from the lab made me say, WTF?! So I added that to my daily list of insurance phone calls that I so enjoy making.

On top of this mental aggravation, my back has decided that it's been way too nice to me since it last went completely haywire in San Francisco. My tailbone decided to not only twist in an unnatural direction but also tilt at an odd angle resulting in excruciating pain that lasts all night and all day. At night, it's like a horror show. The only position that feels halfway decent is lying on my back, which happens to be the only position that I'm not supposed to be in because it reduces oxygen flow to both baby and I. That leaves me rolling side to side with searing pain in my lower back and hips all night long. Not conducive for good sleep that's for sure. Daytime hours are even more of a struggle because life goes on - laundry still needs to be done, errands need to be run, I. needs to be bathed etc. When sitting, walking, and standing cause excruciating pain, it makes for a emotionally and physically exhausting day.

But I struggle through, knowing that the pain is caused by shifting pelvic ligaments and muscles making room for my little guy. I think I secretly hope that if I go through all this pain now, cosmically I'll be rewarded in some way. Immature and irrational I know but pain causes you to not think particularly clearly.

On a good note, I met with a doula yesterday and felt comfortable with her so that's in place and I can check that off my list. And next weekend is our weekend in Laguna Beach just V. and I and that is definitely something to look forward to. I'll try not to remember that this will be our last weekend for at least 18 months and just enjoy the break. God knows I could use a break from this house, from my projects and duties, and from being a momma.