In the middle of this demolition zone, in just a little while, we are going to tell I. the news that she will be a big sister. Anyone who knows me knows that I have given this a lot of thought. V. makes fun of me, not in a mean way, because he can. But in life, there are a few important moments that can set the stage for future life events and you don't get a do-over on them. To me, this is one of them.
I ordered a customized shirt saying, "I'm Going To Be a Big Sister" with a picture of a curly haired girl, 2 cats, and I.'s name on it. I also have some library books on what is going on inside of my tummy to help I.'s inquistive mind understand what is happening and what will be happening.
Part of me is excited for her and what this will mean. I always wanted her to have a sibling to grow up with, make memories with, and have alongside her in life after V. and I are gone. Yet part of me is sad, tears in my eyes sad, because once this fact is out there, we can never go back to how it's been the last 5+ years. I'm sure V. chalks this up to pregnancy hormones and yeah, maybe some of it is. But some of it is that she is my special child, my first, and it's mostly just been her and I since she was 4 months old thanks to V.'s crappy travel schedule.
Nothing can take that time away from us, I know and I am so thankful for it because I think it has laid a foundation for our relationship for the rest of our lives. And let's face it, there is just something about your firstborn. It's not that you feel more love for them, it's just with the first one, everything is brand new, full of wonder, and an adventure all around because you really have no idea what to expect.
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