Bitch

I had to go through that lovely Hallmark process of picking a birthday for my sister today. I dread this day. The last two years, I've been conveniently in Palm Desert vacationing so I haven't had to deal with this hellish deed. Before you judge me, keep in mind that my soon to be 27 year old sister lives off my parents, has no job, doesn't go to school, and is severely affecting the health of my mother. On top of that, I. gets ripped off because my sister is at my parents' house 10-6 every day so there's no point in us going over there or planning any activities with her inappropriate, obnoxious, controlling behavior going on.

We traipsed to the Hallmark store in search of...well I. was in search of a gift and card. At her age and innocence, it's so much easier. But for me....

There was a card that started with "Every family deserves a member like you..." No not really, unless you're the Manson family.

Another one, "You're not the crazy one in the family". Well, actually you are and then some.

Then there was at least a dozen that started something like, "When we were growing up, I always looked up to you" or "All those wonderful memories of us laughing together, remind me..." Yeah, the only thing your childhood reminds me of is pain, sadness, lying, anger, drugs, sex and the way that you ripped our parents' life apart which left me with no support system when I so desperately needed it. Your selfish actions, which continue to this day, deprived me of what I needed then and continue to deprive me of my parents' and my daughter's grandparents' company. It's ridiculous to me that you spend all day, Monday through Friday, with our parents while I. sees her beloved grandparents once a month for a few hours even though we live 3o minutes away. That is almost a crime. They won't be here forever and you don't give a shit about that so why not let them spend time with the people who do give a shit about that.

The bottom line is that you had better get what you want now because aside from whatever our parents leave you, make no mistake - you will not get anything out of me. I've already told our parents that you're not getting shit from me after they're gone. So enjoy it while you can 'cause it ain't gonna last forever, bitch.

P.S. The card I ended up getting says, "Ever noticed how in every family there's usually one person who's shockingly normal?" The inside says, "We should get ourselves one of those. Happy Birthday." I'm not a cruel person so this sufficed.