Two phone calls I could have done without tonight. First my mom calls because I haven't called her in a week and a half so I answer the phone 'cause I know she's wondering why. The conversation was okay except for two things. First, she comments on how in the last month, several women have tried to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. Her next comment was that it was odd because "you know, most women try to kill themselves the easy way by taking pills". Hmmm, either she's callous or has written an alternative rendition of my history 'cause that's just not something she should said to me. YOU get to that point emotionally and then swallow 300 pills and THEN tell me how easy it is, okay? I'll wait for you to get back to me on that.
Then I said something about how I've been trying to process my loss of Mark and that how I was trying to stop (I hesitated here trying to find the right word) and she decided to fill in the blank with "moping". Uh, no I haven't been moping. I've been grieving and that's what healthy normal people do when someone they love dies. You don't just go with the "you have to have a positive attitude and watch funny movies in order to feel better and move on". It's not healthy and I HAVE NOT BEEN FUCKING MOPING. Give me a break.
The second phone call was from V. who informed me that IF he makes it home on Wednesday night, he'll have to fly back Monday, 5 days later. I was thinking he'd be home for his usual 10 days, meaning that we would be able to actually use the early Christmas tickets to the Seinfeld comedy show at the Civic Theater. But nope, that would be something fun so that's not allowed. So I said, "Oh great. I thought we were going to be able to go out and have fun that one night and now I'll just be sitting there by myself I guess." His response: 2 loud drawn out breaths out. So I said,"You know what, we should just get off the phone now because I am so done." And that's what we did. I'm ready for a new day.
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