Day 5

Sleep, aggravation, and productivity.   These are the words to describe today.

Got 9 hours of sleep though I woke up many, many times with aches and pains.   Still it was great to wake up without an alarm and without the feeling that I should be up and doing something for my family members.  Being completely alone provides a freedom like nothing else can provide.

Aggravation came in the form of the flooring being uncompleted today and that it will continue on into next week.  However the real aggravation arose from a baseboard issue where the installers were under the impression that it was completely fine for the left half of a room to have 4" baseboards and the other half of the room to have standard 1" baseboards.  Why they ever thought that would be okay is beyond me.  But it's turning into a disagreement of sorts.  On top of that, I noticed that you can see the nail holes on the baseboards.  I'm not normally a difficult person but if I'm paying $3500+ for a professional job, I'll be damned if I'm going to be on my hands and knees patching a million nail holes and painting them.  I've got enough damn things on my own list - AND I DON'T GET PAID FOR DOING THEM.  So bite me, that's all I've got to say.

Productivity - I got many small errands done that take about 10 minutes of time to handle but by the time I've gotten the stroller out, D. strapped in, and then try to simultaneously entertain him and give sufficient attention to getting the errand done, it not only takes longer than 10 minutes, it takes a lot of my physical and mental energy.  It's a grand balancing act.

Picked up the kiddos this afternoon and while it was a bedtime filled with some crying and tantrums due to one overly tired kid and one kid on an alternative sleep schedule thanks to grandparents, when I went in to their room after they fell asleep it was heartwarming to see them sleeping.  I miss being able to see them sleep - the sight hits my reset button, tugs on my heart strings, and makes me feel as though all is good and well and as it should be.

First Full Day on the Job

I know, I know I haven't posted about Las Vegas. I promise, it's coming. That's going to be a long one so I have to save it for an evening post. Plus, I have to download the pics. But it's coming...soon.

Today is the first morning I was back on duty. Yesterday I picked up I. at my parents' house at 11am so I woke up all by myself, not in full duty mode unlike this morning. For the last 3-4 hours of sleep, I had a night terror and at least 3 other nightmares that interrupted my sleep greatly. Lovely. V.'s back in San Fran so I'm on my own again just like the song says. After being with V. 24/7 for 10 days thanks to that furlough, it's hard to go back to this state. Oh well.

At least this afternoon won't be as hectic as yesterday. I was like a hamster on a wheel and it wasn't very enjoyable. The only thing I have to get done while I. is in school is grocery shopping. Oh and fold and put away 2 enormous loads of colored laundry, start the whites, gather up I.'s laundry for the next load, and put away my suitcase. Hmmm, all of a sudden the afternoon is looking busy. Interesting how that happens around this joint. But it's either do it then or wait til I. is in bed when I'm tired. But it's supposed to be such nice weather today that I think I'll try to find a couple of minutes to relax outside on the patio. Even just a few minutes will be worth it.

He Brought Flowers

Tonight V. came home and he came with flowers:

I asked when he thought about bringing flowers and he said on his way home from the airport. I'm not sure what to think but I am going to appreciate and enjoy it for now. I hate having to think that way but skeptic is alive and well. I'd like to think that V. doesn't want me to feel this way and be stressed but there's a part of me that remembers how he was when Mark died. It was like a cold, frozen block of ice that nothing could penetrate.

For now, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt. Enjoying our time together that we have and looking for positive signs. Until I'm proven wrong, I'll enjoy this.

The Night Before

So tomorrow morning, I. and I will be going to the airport to pick V. up. We haven't seen him since the 5th so we're really excited. Or rather, I am since I didn't tell I. it was going to be tomorrow because I just KNOW that she'd be up at 4am ready to go. However, we did buy a balloon to take to the airport. Why you ask? Well, we got a book at the library that I. really identified with and enjoyed about a little boy waiting for his daddy to come back from work after a really long time. It was military but I made it work. So we've been talking about getting a balloon when V. is coming home that she can hold so that he can find her. It really is kind of heart wrenching but it's good too. So tomorrow morning is going to be like a Christmas morning of sorts and we'll enjoy it.

This morning we dropped off an early birthday present to Mark. He's in quarantine right now because the chemo has ruined his immune system and any exposure to sickness could land him in the hospital. In light of the fact that he is beginning to feel hunger again, we packed him up a box of fresh fruit and some soft veggies (everything still has to pass thru the tube to come out) and wrapped it up in some festive birthday wrapping paper. The rest of his cool gifts will have to wait until he's better and we're better too (we have been/still are sick over here). Looking forward to seeing his face light up with the other presents. More about that later...