Beach Day

Last day of summer vacation, went to meet I.'s first grade teacher at school by 8:30, put dinner in the crock pot when we got home, and as soon as D. got up from nap we headed to the beach.  It was a perfect beach day.  Not humid, cool breeze, and warm sun.  The water was cool but once you got used to it, it was just nice.  Last time we went to the beach it was humid so even though we were at the beach, we were sweating but not today.  It was great.  The first hour, D. was crawling full tilt straight towards the ocean so it was a little stressful for me, trying to grab him before waves smashed into him, walk him back up the sand, put him down only to have him go right back to the water.  After he ate and played in the sand, he was a little more tame when it came to the water so I was able to take a few deep breaths, feel the breeze on my face and appreciate the turquoise color of the water.  Made me think briefly about walking on Laguna Beach a couple of years ago on my birthday with V. with D. in my belly (though at that time I didn't know if it was a boy or girl).  I snapped back quickly from the reminiscing.  For one, to make sure D. was safe and two, because although these days may be physically and emotionally tasking, they are times to remember, times that will not come again, and times so sweet (but no time to take pictures).

Watching I. frolic in the waves without a care in the world, happy, and not one bit self-conscious as she pulled faces, crossed eyes, and fell awkwardly made me extremely happy.  This is her time to do this, to feel this and I hope she will be able to feel this way as long as possible.  One of my goals is to make sure she is not self conscious about her body by keeping silent on any body issues I have and not bring the subject up.  I try to focus on healthy balance and eating and how the body uses each element (protein vs. carbohydrate).  My mom still talks a lot about eating less, how much she weighs, and how small a pant size she is fitting in.  It causes me to be more self critical and I never want I. to be affected by my struggles.  Each of us have enough struggles, especially physical appearance for girls, and no one needs to be dealing with their own plus their mother's.  I packed a special box of animal crackers for I. and I for our beach day and she was so excited. It was a great last summer vacation day.

So that was the good of the day.  The rough part of the day was a carry-over from last night.  I'm not giving details but all I can say is that I. is a direct knock off of V. when it comes to poking the lion through the cage and then objecting when the lion roars.  Also in the apology realm and who is more hard hearted, I"m not sure who is worst.  I'll know in the next 3 days.