Need To Catch A Break

Thanks to our visit to Chuck E. Cheese on Monday, D. came down with a cold starting on Wednesday night.  No big deal, I thought, since he's had plenty of colds throughout I.'s school year and they were always  mild and didn't affect his nursings or eating.

Not this time, he wouldn't nurse at all yesterday afternoon but did nurse at 10:30 last night so I felt hopeful for today.  This morning when I got him up and tried to nurse him, he took one suck and then became irate, pinching at me and clawing at my face.  Then he just cried inconsolably and it broke my heart.  The rest of the day he would just turn his face away at every nursing and cried himself to sleep at afternoon nap.  For bedtime, instead of nursing, I got 3 of his favorite books and we cuddled on my lap, reading and finishing up with me singing 2 songs to him.  It seemed to soothe him and give both of us some needed snuggle time and closeness because when I put him down in his crib, he was relaxed and fell asleep quickly.

My only concern is getting fluids in him especially considering that he won't drink out of a cup (or bottle for that matter).  I'll have to keep my eye on that and continue pumping and including the milk in his foods.  Unfortunately even though I have been pumping today, I have developed a painful blocked milk duct which will probably get worse overnight.  I will be praying that D. feels better tomorrow and soon will return to nursing.  I know that at 1 year old, weaning is a reality, one that I have always known was coming and for this reason, I've always tried to stop and take it all in, really drink in the experience as D. was drinking in my milk, and have been so thankful to have had this opportunity one more time.  Of course, it hasn't been easy.  From day one, I've had major nursing issues and they continue today.  But they say anything worthwhile is worth working at (or something like that) and it's so true.

That being said, am I okay with D. stopping nursing.  No, especially not with it being done so abruptly which is exactly what I. did.  It's not only physically painful, though more so this time, but it's also emotionally rough.  This time I'm better off emotionally at least so far because I think I've been preparing for it all along but it's still a huge change for us and sad for me and him too it seems.

Deep breaths, prayers, and hoping for wonderful things to come....