This Time Around is Different

They say that your second pregnancy is different than your first. You already have been through it and are distracted and busy with your first one so you don't have as much time to ponder the ins and outs of daily pregnancy. In a way, this is true.

Last night, I got out one of the pregnancy books to see what this week held for me and the baby. When I was pregnant with I., those books were piled up around the house and I would look at them daily. I can't do that this time around, not because I don't have time to look at them, but because I. is so doggone observant that she would be asking why this book with a baby on it was lying around. Then she would proceed to look through it and ask about all the pictures. I'm afraid of what the next topic of conversation would be with her.

I don't want to tell her yet because it's still a long time off. I also don't want to tell her yet because she is finally open and excited about getting a bed and moving out of the crib. Finally, I don't want to tell her because we're still having issues with potty training, though at this point in the process, I'm not sure that it can even still be called that. She went a whole 30 days (from Christmas to just a few days ago) dry, no accidents. I didn't want to say anything to jinx it. Then all of a sudden, she's peed in her pants for no apparent reason 3 out of the last 5 days. She's not sick, tired, no changes to her life or schedule - don't ask me, I don't friggin' know. What I do know is that when I picked her up from the gym and saw that she was completely wet, it irritated me to no end and I really didn't even want to speak to her. I know that sounds horrible but please, it's been since June 2009 that I've been dealing with this. To put it in perspective, I was concerned about getting her potty trained in time for preschool and now I'm concerned about getting her potty trained for kindergarten, when she'll almost be 6. I don't know any mother who would have that much patience for one continuous topic for that length of time.

Anyways, back to the topic I meant to talk about - I got the book out last night and was blown away that the baby was already 2 inches long and that my uterus was the size of a grapefruit. It hit me - I'm pregnant. Isn't that weird? You would think when they took 7 vials of blood out of me yesterday afternoon for the first round of tests that I would know I was pregnant. I mean, I know it pretty much every minute of the day but it really hit me when I read about these sizable measurements. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that no one really knows so it's not a daily topic of conversation. So maybe once it's common knowledge out there, it'll feel more like the first time around. We'll have to see.