This weekend was not our best nor our worst weekend, it was just one of those "there" weekends. I'm still trying to figure out what made it different than the weekend before which was a good bonding weekend. What I've come up with so far is that it really didn't have anything to do with me.
The high points were taking I. daytime trick or treating at a shopping mall on Saturday afternoon and then going out to our weekly early dinner/late lunch. She had a really good time and it was fun to watch her enjoying the trick or treat experience since she doesn't get to participate in the nighttime one. A 5 pm bedtime just is not conducive for trick or treating. And before anyone says, "Ahh, why can't you let her stay up late one night?" let me just give this example. She fell asleep on Saturday night at 6:30 due to playing in bed and Sunday morning, she was an emotional wreck, sobbing and throwing fits at the slightest things. It was not fun to deal with for anyone involved, let me tell you.
As for the downside of the weekend, it wasn't anything glaring. It just felt like V. and I. were marching next to each other rather than together. Part of it was that he had a bunch of work (as always) he needed to take care of during the weekend however, he didn't communicate how much so I assumed that after spending both mornings (3-4 hours at a time) working plus a conference call, that would be it. But no, I was wrong, he had more as I found out last night at 5pm when he expressed his frustration in being interrupted while he was on his computer by saying (as he was going up to change I.'s poopy diaper), "It's really frustrating to be interrupted no less than 15 times when I'm trying to finish this reading."
It wasn't said meanly or even angrily, just in a frustrated tone of voice but it stung nonetheless. I thought about it as I showered then came down and finished the morning paper, which due to constant interruptions, I never got to even read and waited for another hour or so for him to finish his homework. Then I said, "You know, we only get to see you 2 days out of the week so that is family time. It's interesting to me that what you view as "interruptions" to our family time is us, your family. That's completely backwards - it should be the work that is the "interruption" to our family time. And I think you really need to think about that." I think he was taken a little aback initially but then he asked what was my solution to the fact that he had to get the work done regardless. I told him that we should have discussed (his favorite word) on Saturday morning our needs and expectations of the weekend so that we could work as a team and schedule accordingly. I reminded him him finishing up the reading tonight was not going to be remembered or make a difference in life 10 years from now but spending time carving a pumpkin with I. would. We'll see in the future if it makes a difference.
V.'s parents annoyed (his word) him on Sunday morning during a Skype phone call by turning down his request that they use his frequent flyer mileage to come out for a visit and they responded with all the reasons why they couldn't, namely because they have to take care of "their baby" (great granddaughter). Talk about enabling - they rival my parents. Although he said it annoyed him, I think the correct words would have been anger and hurt. Neither of these emotions are conducive for a bonding weekend though. Saturday evening, V. fell asleep at 5:30 and last night by 7pm which while I understood his exhaustion, it was still a bummer because it wasn't very unlike my weekday nights.
Oh well, I talked to V. this morning and told him that this weekend wasn't our best and he agreed so that counts for something; he wasn't clueless and I guess in a way we were on the same page, just not the page I wished we were on. Besides the exhaustion and the aggravation, I just felt like V. had half a leg in last week's work and a full leg into this coming week's which only left a half a leg for us. Next Saturday is I.'s birthday party and I hope he can hold it together long enough to be "present" for the party.
Today is Monday, our "last hurrah" day as I call it before I. starts full-time school. We're going to get our flu mist first (that will be challenging) and then head down to Balboa Park to see a surfing IMAX movie and look around the adjoining museum. It should be a fun day of hanging out with my girl.
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