Another hard day but with maybe a sliver of hope at the end of it. I won't get into all the gory details because I really don't want to nor do I have the energy to do so. The bottom line was that again, I got only one word responses to any direct questions of mine and the rest of the time, V. was just silent. He had nothing to say and when I talked about something, he didn't even acknowledgement with a comment or sound that I had said anything. So I just stopped talking to him around lunchtime.
After I put I. down for a rest time, he asked if anything was wrong and so I just told him exactly how I felt including the part I posted in the blog last night. Later this evening I read him some of the blog (the part I felt was really most important to me) and he seems like he's trying to digest it. He was trying to pass it off as something like a jet lag (ie. it just takes a week or two) type of issue but I told him that was BS because he didn't even think he was acting differently so how the heck would he think of working on something he didn't even realize?
Lastly, I told him the statement that came to mind while I was in the shower tonight: it's like I'm living with a stranger which would be okay if he was a stranger. But he's my husband and I have expectations of him being a husband to me again in terms of companionship, fun, and kindness like he was before he left and he hasn't been so it's absolutely painful to me. It has been more painful for me since he's been home than when he was gone because every time he ignores me, doesn't respond to me, or acts like I'm not even there, it hurts as bad as anything ever has. We'll see what tomorrow holds...
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