Finally got to talk to the hubby for a decent amount of time tonight about plans when he gets home for a couple of weeks. I know he wants to go to Vegas but my mom health-wise is not doing too well for taking care of I. for 4 days. So we need to do something where we can take I. with us. After exploring a dog sledding expedition for my 40th, I determined that $1500 for 3-4 days was too much for me to be able to enjoy the experience.
I told V. tonight that I found a great place in Idyllwild for us (since we missed our year end trip) with a pool table that we could enjoy after I. went to bed with some adult beverages and I could tell there was a less than enthusiastic reception. He responded that after being in Saudi for so long, being "cooped up" in a cabin in Idyllwild sound less than ideal. That's exactly what he said.
I maintained my cool and explained to him that I didn't feel comfortable asking my mom to watch I. for 4 days right now and that we could go to Vegas in the summer. I also reminded him that he is 50% of I.'s life and while he may not be aware of it, she talks about him daily and if he's only back for 2 weeks, it's not good that he wants to go away from her for a week of it. This is one of the reacclimations I was worried about. I just think he's so used to being a weekend dad for the last 14 years for my stepgirls that he doesn't realize the impact he has on a child who expects her daddy to be there every day. It's so sad to me on several fronts.
I also think he's forgotten that we used to have fun without going to Vegas. Vegas has become symbolic. Tonight, I told him to think about what I said about I. needing to spend time with him before China and to remember all the fun we used to have with just us, adult beverages, and a good mattress. We'll see what conversation we have tomorrow.
I'll post more about the first visit to Mark's grave on Monday later.
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