I'm Still Standing

I'm still standing...yeah, yeah, yeah Remember that Elton John song from long ago?!

I didn't want to leave things like they were in my last post and give the impression that I might have jumped off the roof in the meantime. You know, I almost made a joke to the NP at my doctor's appointment this week in response to her questions, "How are things going? How are you?" That day I was just so beaten down tired on no sleep and pain that I could feel the hysteria rising in me. I thought about responding, "Well, I didn't check myself into Mesa Vista on the way here so that's something." For those of you who have not experienced depression or lunacy, you may not know what Mesa Vista is. It's the Sharp Healthcare version of the looney bin, at least that's what it seemed like when I was there many many moons ago. But considering how ragged I probably appeared and that my depression history was probably in my chart, I didn't think I had better make that joke to a member of the medical community at this point in time. Probably a smart move.

Thankfully, the next night provided 6 hours of total sleep so I was in much better shape to start the day off. Plus I was able to get an hour long nap in the afternoon which was really good since V. was out of town overnight and I was going to be the lone wolf on duty for the first time as a momma of two. We made it through and without too much chaos. The only real struggle was last night. I got D. down for bed after his last feeding at 11pm, went to sleep to be awoken at 1:45 for another chow session. No problem except that I noticed his eyes were wide open at the end of it at 2:20 which did not bode well especially since my head kept falling forward as I was passing out with sleep. He ended up not going back to sleep until 3:45 and it was torture, to put it mildly.

On the plus side, since he went to sleep so late in the middle of the night, he didn't wake up again until 7:45 so I was able to get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It seems that surviving the early days with a newborn is about noticing and celebrating the littlest of things and focusing on the upside. That and keeping a sense of humor and knowing when not to make sarcastic jokes...