Family

We're heading to the Fair in a little while to meet my parents. Now that my evil sister has been relocated to another room in another unsuspecting person's house, she doesn't have to be at their house all day, every day. So we're actually able to do some things with my parents again. Of course, it's all on the down -low because we can't say we ever see each other when my sister is around or there will be hell to pay.

I had a humorous conversation with my brother last night. We were talking business at first but the conversation came around as it usually does to my sister. His birthday is this weekend and we'll be getting together on the Fourth and he was hoping she wouldn't have to be there. Since it's the Fourth though, she has to be there. He's going to open all his presents on Friday night when she's not there so he doesn't have to go through the inevitable evil eye from her as she sits there calculating how much each present cost and if she got an equal amount on her birthday. She did this crap back when she was 6; some things don't change.

We started cracking up so hard reliving all the weird stuff from Father's Day she did. For instance, she sat there and told my brother for 15 minutes all the places she had applied to. Then we all sat down to eat and 5 minutes later she's done, gets up and announces to him, "I feel really guilty for talking to you." and goes in the house. Part of the hilarity is obviously the comment, but the other part is that no one even acknowledged that she said it and just started talking about some random topic. Of course, my brother and I made eye contact and I said to him, "What the heck just happened there?" and we both started laughing. Or how about how she announced to my brother, "I need a hug." and gives this really long, strange hug. Okay, so what was so strange about that you ask? Because after she did it, she turned to his girlfriend and asked, "Does that make you jealous?" Huh, what?! Ewww, what the heck does that mean? Weird stuff like that constantly and how it's completely ignored is both bizarre, maddening, and hilarious all at the same time.

Our other favorite is how she spends a lot of time detailing out to both of us EVERYTHING she's been doing in minutiae, trying to convince us that she is SO busy. Obviously much busier than either of us. I mean she's spends 2-3 hours at the gym (with her big dark sunglasses on) and about the same time at the library - if I did that every day, I'd be exhausted from being so busy. Just a bit of sarcasm there.

This is the fun you get when you have an insane person at all your family gatherings. It's very conflicting because on one hand you feel bad for her but on the other hand, we are both so tired of 14+ years of this crap and the price it's exacted on my parents and family that it's hard not to lash out. So that's why we laugh.