Challenges

Today was a better day than yesterday but considering that yesterday involved me crying in front of people because of severe back pain, it really wouldn't take much for today to be better.

I hate to cry, period. I really hate to cry in front of other people and usually can be crying right next to someone without them even knowing it until my nose starts to run and I have to do that telltale .

But yesterday morning it was just too much. My back had been very strained the whole day before but I made it through it and the painful night. It was very sore in the morning when I got up and no matter how gingerly I moved, it was shooting pains left and right. Then I made the mistake of sitting down to eat breakfast and that's when all hell broke loose. My lower back started spasming and the sciatic nerve was shooting like knives down to my ankle and as the minutes passed, it kept getting worse. I knew that I needed to get upstairs and get ready and get to the chiropractor as soon as possible or I wasn't going to be able to move at all. Scary situation considering that I'm it when it comes to taking care of I.

I drove there whimpering in pain every time I had to turn a corner or go over a bump and by the time we got there, I was tearing up. Of course, I. was not being empathetic at all and was not happy about having to go to the doctor with me which just made me feel all that much more of a loser. An old pregnant mommy loser. Walked into the chiropractor, saw her face, and started quietly crying. Embarrassing. I guess I should just be happy that I'm not a blubberer or sobber. I save my sobbing for when my closest friend dies and I'm by myself.

She got things back in place somewhat and so today I'm just back to being in pain but not in agony. Big difference. The challenges continue to come. Today my car battery died when I picked up I. from preschool. Luckily a jump start in the parking lot and a couple of phone calls to AAA tonight resulted in a new battery being installed in the car at 8pm. which will make I. (and I) so very happy because we will still be able to go to the Wild Animal Park tomorrow. Hopefully my back will embrace the walking around and not punish me for being on my feet all day. I guess I'll find out by tomorrow night but until then, I will enjoy the time with I. while it is still just her and I.