A Gentle Moment in the Chaos

I have to admit, I've been letting all this chaos in the house get me down, way down. I try not to. I try to keep perspective that there is light at the end of the tunnel and we should finally be back to normal by the end of this week, after a month of living in limbo. Some days I'm successful but most days I have not been. It's just that my santuary has been majorly disrupted for over a month now and I'm tired of it. The past 2 weeks, it's been worse with everything in the 3rd bedroom being moved into the living/family room. There are no couches to sit on, no space to move around. It's visually stressful. On top of that, it means that the only place for I. to be playing or otherwise is in my bedroom. The only place for me to read, rest, or watch tv is in my bedroom. This combination leads to my bedroom becoming a collection of toys and mess. Hmm, that sounds like the rest of the house, doesn't it? For some reason, you add the constant loud chatter of I. and I'm ready to blow. And when I say constant, I mean CONSTANT. As in without a breath, a steady stream of noise that never stops. It really never stops now because she's lost all tv, coloring, and video game privleges thanks to the potty issue, my other favorite topic. So the default for when these 3 things are taken away are me it seems. In the morning, I need some quiet time to drink a cup of decaf and read the paper. It doesn't have to be absolute quiet but just without an interruption every 5 seconds, asking "what should I play with now?" or "can you put this together?" I finally have to ban her away from me for a few minutes which sounds like a mean parent but I don't think I should receive more punishment than I. for the consequences of her choosing to pee in her pants. Yet in the middle of this storm, a gentle moment happened yesterday that I keep holding onto with the fervent belief that things will get better. As I laid in bed in the morning, in that quiet drowsy state of half awake/half asleep state, I felt several thumps in my belly, then nothing followed by more strong thumps. It was my baby boy saying good morning to his momma and it felt good. I've just got to hold on to that for the rest of the week and then hopefully things will start getting better.