After last night ended on a bummer note (see Venting post below), I decided, as I trudged along on the treadmill, that I had better really start concentrating on the positive aspects of my life since the negative ones aren't appearing to let up in the near future. I had my little kumbaya moment as I went through all the great things I'm lucky to have and felt a little better.
On the way home from the gym, my phone signalled a text message and what a surprise, it was from a guy friend that I was looking forward to having lunch with in an hour after taking Isabella to school. Cancelling again one hour before. Okay, he had to go to a work event but this stupid thing just hit his calendar an hour earlier? That seems pretty lame. Plus, he had to cancel last Wednesday due to too many meetings and then cancelled Thursday because of another last minute work event. Even when I was in the workforce, if I made plans with someone, I did everything to make sure I made it. It's called being DEPENDABLE.
But wait, here's the good part and today I'm not being sarcastic, I'm serious. I. asks, "What's wrong Mommy?" and I tell her that my friend says he can't have lunch with me and this is the 3rd time he's done this so it kind of hurts my feelings. I. sits there quietly as I park the car in the garage and then as she holds the door to the house open for me to go through she says, "What can I do for you to make you happy Mommy?" She's 3 years old and still figures the world pretty much is all about her so you could have knocked me over with a feather. In fact, just to make sure I heard her right, I asked her to repeat what she said and she said the same thing.
I told her that if she would just give me a big hug and kiss that I would be happy and so she did. And you know what? I was incredibly happy because under her feisty exterior, I. is very sensitive, caring, and compassionate. I saw it with Mark but haven't really experienced it myself (familiarity breeds contempt you know) and it was so great being on the receiving end. Of course, I did have to reach back and pat myself on the back because I have been trying to cultivate that quality in her since Mark got sick and I guess I was successful. Something so beautiful has risen from the depths of something so tragic and sad and that's pretty amazing.
1 comment:
This is so sweet and tender. What a blessing out of a VERY frustrating thing. Yes, April you can take a lot of credit for the precious girl that she is albiet a fiesty one--just like mom.
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