I've been reading my doula's account of D.'s birth story and it takes me right back to those moments. I remember exactly how I felt, what I was thinking and what was being said to me. I remember the "oh shit" moment when the doctor came in to give the "we might have to do a C-section" speech to me and how I ignored her and just concentrated on what was happening and 10 minutes later was at the point of pushing which negated her C-section issue.
I read on and am amazed that I pushed for 2 1/2 hours. I would think I would have given up by that point. But I was determined to have you come out naturally, that had been my goal for 9 months and because of that I was focused. I lined up the doula to increase my chances and V. was right there helping this time around. Last time was disappointing but this time around he was a champ, encouraging me, pressing my lower back as hard as he could with every contraction to help with my pain, and fanning me in between contractions because I was so DAMN hot.
Such great memories and I revisited the high points with D. while I was rocking him at bedtime. He totally got it because he loved hearing about what we all thought of him when we first met him and afterwards he snuggled up tightly to my chest and when I put him in the crib, he spontaneously gave me big hugs and insisted on giving me kisses instead of the other way around. I also talked with I. about when she first met her brother and held him and it brought back nice, loving and maternal feelings to her.
A good way to end today.
