The Boom Will Be Lowered

More problems with I.  I'm so tired of them.  Clutter and mess in her room continues to be an issue even though she knows that she is to clean up her room before coming down to breakfast.  With feeding D. breakfast and trying to gulp down some myself, I haven't been going back upstairs to do "quality control" and as a result, many mornings there is still stuff strewn all over the ground in the bedroom and bathroom and then at bedtime, while I'm trying to keep D. from getting into trouble while I'm washing I.'s hair or getting her in bed, the mess just pisses me off because I'm stepping on it, tripping on things etc.  It makes me angry towards I. almost every bedtime which is not how I want to end the day with her.  Going to have to make some changes there.

But that's not even the bad part.  The bad part is that even though she lost the privilege of reading books for 30 minutes at bedtime for a month after 3 offenses of sneaking books til it was late (resulting in daily late afternoon tantrums because she's tired), I've caught her twice in the last week. I usually have everything I need to get D. ready for bed in my room but a couple of times I've walked back into their room to get something and there she is hiding a book under her pillow.  Today was the last straw because I know that if I'm 2 for 2 catching her, chances are she's doing it every night.  Both V. and I have talked with her about disobeying, why the rule is in place, and how she is becoming untrustworthy by her actions and she needs to start doing the right thing in order for us to be able to trust her again.  After tonight, I see that she's just not getting it and probably thinks she's getting away with it which to be honest pisses me off.

I've read this before in John Rosemond's book "The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children" and agree thoroughly with it.

"The old-fashioned parent was unconcerned with the issue of fairness, the perception that there should be equity between the misbehavior and its consequence when it came to discipline.  Rather, he or she was intent upon nipping misbehavior in the bud, which was generally accomplished through a lowering of the proverbial boom.  The old-fashioned parent realized that the size of a given misbehavior should not dictate the size of the punishment.  After all, any misbehavior, no matter how small, can become a major problem if allowed to flourish; ergo, the boom."

So tomorrow I'm lowering the boom.  I'm removing every single book in her room and that's no small task - she probably has over 300 books.  Instead of doing something fun with D. in the morning, I will have to go to Big Lots and buy some storage containers to hold the books and then pack them away.  The library books will go back and those privileges will be revoked.  For how long?  Until V. and I think she's proving to be trustworthy again.  It will be interesting to see her reaction to such a huge consequence.  Here's my prediction, she'll put a poker face on even though she'll be shocked.  I just pray that it ultimately works.

I wonder if the old-fashioned parent felt sad when they had to lower the boom or not.  Because I do, not because I don't want to be the bad guy but because it's had to come to this.  But like the above quote said, this is an issue that will become a much larger issue as she gets older and with much more serious implications.  That is what worries me greatly.

On the flip side at school she is thriving, obeying, and going the extra mile to be the perfect student with exemplary character.  Part of it I think is her competitiveness that makes her want to be the best in the class. Regardless, many days it makes me wish I could switch places with her teacher and get to see her in that light for a little bit to tide me over through these rotten times.