Today a homegrown national sports star committed suicide. He was just a year older than myself and as a high school star was in the sports page when I was in high school. He was an inspiration, a man with charisma and a knack for leadership and most importantly a real talent for football.
I just reread that last sentence and just before I began erasing it, I stopped. Maybe that was the problem. Perhaps he also viewed his real talent for football as most important and now that he couldn't play any more, life was empty.
I don't know. No one can ever know what happens within someone.
Today there is the comments of how selfish, how could he do this to his mother, his children? It's all true and understandable. I agree with all of it.
However, if you have ever been there, at that point, you get it and painfully relive that moment, those moments. Of complete hopelessness and desolation. That things will not get better, no matter what you do. And that everyone will be okay when you're gone because you're really not that important in the grand scheme of things, it turns out.
Until you've been there and felt those horrible emotions (there are few worse ones), just save your judgement, offer up a prayer for those left to deal with it, and pray for the soul that hopelessness overcame today.
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