Random Friday Thoughts

Early this morning I woke up out of a dream and turned over onto my other side in an effect to relieve pain. I was still kind of asleep and thought to myself, "What are those muscle twitches?" It took me some time to realize that those weren't muscle twitches in my belly, the baby was awake and kicking away down there. That was the first time that I forgot that there was a baby in there. It was a strange realization.

This week during our phone conversation, as my mother talked for 15 minutes straight about the strict diet that her and my dad were on, what they were eating, not eating and how many pounds they had lost, I thought to myself, "I am not going to miss not worrying about what I am eating, how many calories, what I shouldn't eat later on as a result of what I just ate and just generally being critical of my body." It's not that I'm eating like a pig or whatever I feel like eating while I've been pregnant. Not at all. It's that I can eat when I'm hungry and not analyze whether it's okay to eat when I'm hungry. It's sitting down and not being immediately aware of any roll of fat hanging over my pants. And as we all know, there's going to be lots of that hanging around after the baby comes. My mother has been on diets her entire life and she looks good. But I don't think that's been a good message for her daughters to have seen. My sister has eating disorders up the butt to complement her general bitchiness and obviously, I have some latent food issues. Makes me want to make sure that the focus of eating in my house is for health, pleasure, and moderation.

I'm planning on taking I. and I to Sea World for the day before the whole tourist season explodes (or I do, whichever comes first). When I told V. last night on the phone, he said, "You can't do that!" I've been so tired lately but there are things I've got to do now in case I can't/don't want to do them next month. Things for just I. and I. A few more memories of just the two of us, hand in hand, exploring. I know I'm going to be really tired tonight but at least it will be more valuable to me than being tired from errands and things on the "to-do" list.