What does it mean when the most recent "toy" you have gotten is a Oral B Professional Electric Toothbrush? I really want to know. You know the saddest part? I'm actually excited about it. You see I went to the dentist last Wednesday and was subjected to a torturously comprehensive cleaning thanks to an overly ambitious dental hygenist. I mean, this woman was something else. After scraping, poking, and scaling in a most painful way my entire bottom jaw, she asks,"Would you like some numbing gel now before I start on the top?" NOW you ask after 20 minutes of agony? So what do I say? "Naw." Translation: "It's too damn late now, I've made it this far. Thanks for asking 20 minutes ago!" After all this fun, she warns me that I need to come back in 3 months with a much healthier mouth or else. No I didn't ask what "or else" entailed as I've been down that road before about 20 years ago (and obviously have never forgotten).
Now don't get me wrong, I've got a good set of teeth I must say. Not just the normal set of course - I've got all 4 wisdom teeth, despite every dentist I know wanting to yank 'em, plus the bonus baby tooth. It's not an extra tooth, just one that never felt like falling out and is just hanging around for as long as it can. I feel protective of it. Obviously it's been around since I was 2 and deserves some recognition and pampering. I have no fillings, never had a cavity. So I'm proud of my teeth and at this point in my life, I have no desire to find out what it is like to have a novocaine shot, a tooth pulled, a root canal, or a cavity filled. NONE WHATSOEVER to the point where I think I've developed a phobia.
Which brings me back to my newest toy - my $80 toothbrush (well, it came with 2 so it's really only $40, good rationalizing). This thing gives you a 30 second heads -up when you need to switch to your next mouth quandrant and turns off after the recommended 2 minutes. I didn't even know my mouth had quandrants until I read the 15 page manual that came with this baby. I'm surprised it doesn't just download the info straight to the dentist's office so that when you show up for your appointment, there is no discussion, just straight to the "or else". But I am determined and have made this into a challenge. I have flossed daily since my appointment (all 7 days), got the tartar control toothpaste, and have rinsed daily with something to help prevent plaque build-up. This Cadillac toothbrush is the last piece in my quest for dental perfection. I have 'til April 15th to conduct this experiment and I swear on my Honda Pilot that if I go in there and they don't say that my mouth is in exquisite, pristine condition, I'm gonna be one hacked off dental patient.
Going back to my first sentence of what it means that my latest toy is a toothbrush, what in the world will be my next toy? Reading glasses?! Not if I can help it....
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