The First Official Post

Here we go.. the first official post.

So, something that's been concerning me is hearing other stay at home moms say that their lives are boring, mentally unchallenging, and personally unfulfilling. I make the distinction between stay at home and working moms here because I don't hear those same comments from the working moms. They talk about the stress, exhaustion and guilt but not being bored, unfulfilled, or mentally unchallenged because I suppose they feel as though the job provides that to them.

Now, don't get me wrong. Every day of my life is not perfect - I don't skip my way emotionally through the day, ponder many things at length, nor feel absolutely thrilled and fulfilled at the end of the day. But, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS WORKING OUTSIDE OF THE HOME EITHER. And I guess that's one of the main points of this post. No matter what you do, it's not going to feel completely fulfilling and joyful all of the time. What I have found and what I hope will be helpful to other moms is this: you get out what you put in.

Think about it for a moment -- if I go through the day thinking how bored I am playing with her, feeding her, doing errands etc. , I'm going to be bored. If instead I concentrate on her eyes, her face, her reactions as I am playing with her, it opens a whole 'nother aspect to playing with her. To me, it may seem boring; to her, she's never seen it like this, experience it that way and I can surprise her with this. That truly is my job as a mom - expose her and show her new things for her to experience for the first time and celebrate it with her. Part of my personal fulfillment is seeing her eyes widen, the lightbulb go on in her head, and she makes the connection with life as we have known it for years.

When I was working outside the home and at the top of my game, the appreciation and new praise was few and far between. Now that I'm home, I get appreciation every day though I have to identify it as that sometimes since it comes in a different form now. "The Baby" doesn't talk yet (except for Dada, of course, and some sign language) but when she shows me affection during the day and says "thank you" to me in sign language when I've understood her communication attempts, that is blatant appreciation in my new workplace. The problem is not that our children don't appreciate us (at least when they're younger), it's that we don't acknowledge and enjoy their appreciation for us and that's a real shame. I know I've been guilty of this plently of times.

So, enjoy where you are at now because it will change all too soon and you will be looking back to these days with longing.

More later...