The First Official Post

Here we go.. the first official post.

So, something that's been concerning me is hearing other stay at home moms say that their lives are boring, mentally unchallenging, and personally unfulfilling. I make the distinction between stay at home and working moms here because I don't hear those same comments from the working moms. They talk about the stress, exhaustion and guilt but not being bored, unfulfilled, or mentally unchallenged because I suppose they feel as though the job provides that to them.

Now, don't get me wrong. Every day of my life is not perfect - I don't skip my way emotionally through the day, ponder many things at length, nor feel absolutely thrilled and fulfilled at the end of the day. But, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS WORKING OUTSIDE OF THE HOME EITHER. And I guess that's one of the main points of this post. No matter what you do, it's not going to feel completely fulfilling and joyful all of the time. What I have found and what I hope will be helpful to other moms is this: you get out what you put in.

Think about it for a moment -- if I go through the day thinking how bored I am playing with her, feeding her, doing errands etc. , I'm going to be bored. If instead I concentrate on her eyes, her face, her reactions as I am playing with her, it opens a whole 'nother aspect to playing with her. To me, it may seem boring; to her, she's never seen it like this, experience it that way and I can surprise her with this. That truly is my job as a mom - expose her and show her new things for her to experience for the first time and celebrate it with her. Part of my personal fulfillment is seeing her eyes widen, the lightbulb go on in her head, and she makes the connection with life as we have known it for years.

When I was working outside the home and at the top of my game, the appreciation and new praise was few and far between. Now that I'm home, I get appreciation every day though I have to identify it as that sometimes since it comes in a different form now. "The Baby" doesn't talk yet (except for Dada, of course, and some sign language) but when she shows me affection during the day and says "thank you" to me in sign language when I've understood her communication attempts, that is blatant appreciation in my new workplace. The problem is not that our children don't appreciate us (at least when they're younger), it's that we don't acknowledge and enjoy their appreciation for us and that's a real shame. I know I've been guilty of this plently of times.

So, enjoy where you are at now because it will change all too soon and you will be looking back to these days with longing.

More later...

First ... A Little About Me

First, a little info on me. I am 36, soon to be 37, wife of almost 4 years, and mother to a 15 month old girl. I have a BS in Business Admin. and worked my way up to a Regional Sr. Mgr. for Southern CA in a large international corporation. I was successful in my career and well liked among my peers and my bosses because I worked hard, demanded perfection from myself, inspired loyalty in my employees, and was able to get along with just about anyone. I grew tired of the rat race - the stress, the politics, the lack of appreciation, and having to answer to too many people and went as far the opposite way as I possibly could. I bought a swimming pool service and repair route, a pickup truck, equipment and struck out on my own. People thought I was insane - here I was leaving an almost 6 figure job to be a pool girl but that's what I wanted to do and I did it. Unfortunately, I had accumulated a lot of damage to my knees and wrists to my crazy, kamikaze karate days in my 20's and it all started flaring up with the hard physical labor of repairs and the repetitive motion of cleaning. Worked out anyways, because we were ready to try for a baby.

"The Baby" was born November 9, 2005 and has blossomed into a feisty, challenging, happy girl who keeps me on my toes. Just when I think I have it down, she throws me a curve ball and I feel like I'm back in the early months, lost and scrambling. But that's a whole 'nother post!

So that's the info on me. Before having "The Baby", the majority of my friends were male. Since having "The Baby", I've developed more female friends while struggling to hold onto my past male friendships (again, a whole 'nother post). I suspect I'm not alone in that position. I was actually told by someone that I was a male trapped in a female body based solely on how my brain worked. I have to admit that since having "The Baby", my brain has become a little more "femalized" which actually has been hard to adjust to.

Well, that's probably enough (or more than enough about me), at least to begin with.

The Point of This Post

I really have no expectations that anyone will be interested in the postings of a stay at home mom (that's what SAH stands for) but I am going to post anyways. I don't want this to become a stay at home vs. working mom diatribe - honestly, there is enough of that and that is not my point. Rather, my point is to provide an outlet of my daily/weekly thoughts that may prove useful or at least cause thought among other moms or dads for that matter.