The First Day

I obviously did not mentally think ahead to what would await me this morning, the first day without V., because if I had I would have never opened the door and removed the bedroom barricade.

A barricade, you say? Yes, that's right because I have 2 cats who love nothing more than to sleep ALL DAY just so that they can throw their 9 lb. and 12 lb., respectively, bodies up and against the bedroom door and knob to vocalize their angst of not being fed in the middle of the night. Thus, the barricade which comes in a variety of styles. Most often it's a full laundry basket (thanks to V.) placed strategically in front of the door so they cannot reach said door and knob. If I happen to be caught up on laundry (yes, miracles have been known to occur), V.'s unpacked garment bag from his last trip a month ago, is heavy enough to serve the purpose. It really doesn't matter what it is, as long as it keeps them from reaching my bedroom door.

But I digress...so this morning I was awakened by I. screaming and crying at the top of her lungs which is always a pleasant way to be woken up. I jump out of bed, fearing the worst, throw open my door, hurdle the barricade, dodge the yowling hungry cats to get to her room. Why is she sobbing? Because the cat socks that my mom got her are coming unsewn. Yes, that's right. And that means I'm going to be doing some sewing very soon, trying to get those friggin' paws sewed back on tight. Note to self: tell mother NOT to buy fancy friggin' animal socks. I soothe I. promising miracles I have no hope of achieving, change her and then we go back to my room to make my bed since I didn't have a chance yet, put my PJs on since I'm in my underwears and so that I can pee. Yes, even mommies have to pee in the morning.

Now I'm on the pot peeing. I. decides this is a perfect time to bring 2 foot high Peter Cottontail into the toilet closet. At a decibel level just below ear splitting, he starts singing "Here comes Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail" complete with him hopping. This inspires I. so now she's hopping with him. All this in a 2 X 3 foot space, me just trying to pee hoping this is all a bad dream. Mind you, the cats are right there fighting with each other because they're hungry and pissed off. I drop my head in my hands to try and shut it out when I. hits me upside the head with a plastic microphone. At that point, everyone including Peter Cottontail is ejected from the toilet closet and the door is firmly locked. This of course results in the door being kicked by I. for awhile until she decides that it would be much more fun to torment the cats with Peter Cottontail. Sorry cats, everyone in this house has to take one for the team some time.

Make it down the first flight of stairs to find not one but two furballs barfed up and waiting for me. Wow, I'm so excited. I. insists that she gets her milk before the cats get fed which leads to major fur-flying in the interim. I make sure to turn my coffee on immediately because it's looking like I'm REALLY going to need it. Now, time to feed the cats. Walk down to the next level where a fresh, steaming pile awaits me at the bottom of the stairs. It can't get much better at this point. Successfully feed the cats, scoop the boxes, and pick up said steaming pile and make it upstairs to my coffee.

I take the first sip of my coffee while I. watches a Winnie the Pooh DVD and think to myself, "It's not even 7:15 yet and I want to go back to bed and hide." It's then that I realize that I need to start now preparing myself mentally and emotionally for tomorrow morning or it's going to be another rough one.