Just a Quick Blog

I don't normally write at this time since I try to conserve energy when The Baby is down for an hour's rest so I have enough to make through the afternoon. However, she has been typically going the bathroom within the first 15 minutes of her rest and I go back in to clean her up so that she doesn't get the horrible diaper rash she would get. So, thought I'd write quickly while waiting for the next dump.

Of all things, Britney Spears has been on my mind this morning. I don't normally get personally involved with this loser celebrities but when I heard that she lost custody of her 2 babies because she couldn't follow mandatory, normal-human rules, I just couldn't believe it. Now that I'm a mom, I just cannot imagine continuing to do something if it meant my kids would be taken away. It's just beyond my comprehension. I would do anything to not lose my girl. In fact, it's one of my top 2 goals right now in my life to give her a happy, secure, safe life. I keep this goal in mind when I get frustrated with the hubby and want to snap at him in front of Isabella and it makes me button my lip. Later on when I could say something, I find it's not really valid anyways that I was just being irritable. I keep this goal in mind when I don't feel particularly happy or cheerful and make myself smile and act cheerful in front of her. Do I feel like doing this all the time? Hell no but I'm not going to lay my burdens or moods on her. If they feel heavy to me, how heavy would they feel to a little person trying to deal with her own emotions, fears, frustrations, etc?

Being a parent has made me such a better person. I am much more selfless now and concerned about the wellbeing of my family members and I like that - in a way, it's freeing. In another way, this selflessness backfires and leads me to look at myself in the mirror after The Baby's bedtime and be horrified to see my lunch stuck in my teeth and it's been there since 11:30am! Note to self: check teeth during resttime!