What started this post was hearing how much some moms on television loved being moms to 8 and 16 kids. These women were saying how wonderful it was, how much they loved it, and acted like it was almost a calling.
As I sit over here, agonizing (well, maybe not quite that) about having a second child, I wonder "What's wrong with me?" because some days seem so difficult to me. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE being a mom, wouldn't trade it for anything, and would do anything to keep my girl safe and happy. BUT...there are some days when I'm just pooped and out of patience for the day and this is just with 1 kid!
So what is it? What makes some moms able to happily handle lots of kids and some feel like 1 or maybe 2 (on a good day) is their limit? Is it temperament? Or is it a selfish type of personality? Or is it that we have just gotten used to a certain type of life?
Lately, I'm leaning a little towards the last one. Why? Because my perfectionist, Type A temperament has mellowed out quite a bit and I certainly do not want to foist that on my girl at all. I already see those tendencies in her as it is. A selfish type of personality? As in my previous post, that selfishness has mellowed out a lot and doesn't make its' appearance very often. So that leaves me with the last option - I got used to being on my own, responsible only for myself, and while that gave me a lot of freedom, it didn't give me a lot of fulfillment. But I think I got used to it and it makes it hard for me to deal constantly with being "on call" for a little someone all day long. These "Super Moms" as I call them (the 8 and 16 kids' moms), for the most part, got married young and started having kids immediately and often so they never really enjoyed the freedom or experience of just being responsible for themselves and having no one to answer to. That's not to say it was bad - in fact, in one way now that I'm a mom I think it would be better and easier to be a mom and wife. But, on the other hand, I know what I'm NOT missing by being responsible for a husband and child and that makes me appreciate all that more. But it does sometimes make daily life harder for me I think. Either way, I think that being a mom is just a difficult job and those "Super Moms" that I watch on television are just freaks of nature or on a high Valium dosage.
At least that's what I'll tell myself to make myself feel better!
1 comment:
Oh yes, definite freaks of nature. Or closet alcoholics. Or both.
No, I completely hear you. One thing to consider is that some women start having children, give themselves up to those children entirely, and then keep having them because they honestly don't know what else to do than be a mom. Except children keep growing up, our reproductive abilities slow down, and eventually we end up with a serious case of empty nest (and, hopefully, still a good supply of alcohol).
The fact that you struggle with one child may indicate that you are more interested in seeking a balance for both you and your family instead of committing fully to any one thing. Just my way of making ME feel better!
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