Today I tried to keep in mind the realization of last night's post and it actually helped make the day more pleasant and go more smoothly. When The Baby was throwing her fits this morning, I stayed calm and tried to resolve them and if I needed to hand down consequences, I did it quickly and with as little emotion as possible. I felt better and she also seemed to bounce back and recover more quickly than other days.
Another thing I learned today is that random acts of affection towards her goes a long way. She would be playing by herself and out of nowhere, I would come up and give her a hug and kiss and then go back to what I was doing. I noticed she played longer by herself, was less demanding of my attention, stayed in a good mood longer, and was more physically affectionate with me overall. So I will definitely be putting this little tidbit into daily effect and hope that it will continue to work.
The Baby's impetigo on her face returned today and now I have antibiotic ointment to try and put on her face three times a day. This of course turns into the most annoying power struggle. As soon as I put it on, she wipes it off unless I hold her down for a few minutes which is almost impossible and unpleasant for both of us so I just try to distract but she won't fall for distraction. Oh well, seven days, three times a day - okay, so that's only 21 times total that I will have to practice deep breathing and lots of patience.
Soon I'd like to post my mental tug a war and fears/concerns about having #2. Overall, I think what it boils down to is a lack of confidence in myself as a parent and what I feel is a patience problem. But I want to let it percolate a little longer before I post about it.
That's it for today - still in recovery from the stomach virus. Until next time...
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Where's My Damn Sick TIme?
One more rant before I head to bed....
This week I was hit with a stomach virus. No, I wasn't throwing up or anything else but the spasming in my stomach was so bad that I almost wish I was just for evacuation purposes!
As I was lying on the couch with a pillow over my face (no, not to suffocate myself but to stop the room from spinning), The Baby was ripping the living room to shreds, climbing on the table and basically doing everything she's not supposed to do because somehow she knew I was just not able to deal with it. I could deal with all this until she climbed on the couch and threw all 27 pounds on my stomach and that's when I thought,
WHERE THE HELL IS MY SICK TIME?
Yes, that's right, a flashback to my working days and had I the energy to focus on it, I would have become quite bitter. Luckily, my energy was focused on getting this 27 lb deadweight off my stomach immediately and after that, I was just in pure survival mode in making it to bedtime alive and breathing.
But I had to post my flashback to working life because when times get tough, I seem to have more of them. A stay at home mom's fantasy life I guess....
This week I was hit with a stomach virus. No, I wasn't throwing up or anything else but the spasming in my stomach was so bad that I almost wish I was just for evacuation purposes!
As I was lying on the couch with a pillow over my face (no, not to suffocate myself but to stop the room from spinning), The Baby was ripping the living room to shreds, climbing on the table and basically doing everything she's not supposed to do because somehow she knew I was just not able to deal with it. I could deal with all this until she climbed on the couch and threw all 27 pounds on my stomach and that's when I thought,
WHERE THE HELL IS MY SICK TIME?
Yes, that's right, a flashback to my working days and had I the energy to focus on it, I would have become quite bitter. Luckily, my energy was focused on getting this 27 lb deadweight off my stomach immediately and after that, I was just in pure survival mode in making it to bedtime alive and breathing.
But I had to post my flashback to working life because when times get tough, I seem to have more of them. A stay at home mom's fantasy life I guess....
The Best of Times, The Worst of Times
So much for my enthusiasm to be a successful blogger about my life as a stay at home mom. I'm still not sure what exactly caused my departure from my blog except for being braindead and tired by the end of the day. However, a friend of mine recently started blogging and it encouraged me to try and start again. Her blog has helped me through my own frustrations as it allows me a "peek" into her daily life and I can tell it helps her as well. I just hope mine can do the same.
My daily life has changed since I last wrote, thus the braindeadness at the day's end, in that The Baby changed from a sweet, energetic girl to a whirling dervish full of piss and vinegar. Don't get me wrong, she can still be sweet - to her daddy, her sisters, pictures of random dogs, cats, animals in general - all these things are given profuse kisses and hugs. But for me, I have to beg for some affection and when I do get it, it's in the form of a kiss with her tongue out (her idea of being funny) and a tight hug that ends with fistfuls of my hair being pulled in opposite directions. I know I shouldn't take it personally but it's so hard when it only happens to me!
So, The Baby does everything at 100 mph. That's how she moves, takes naps (what naps?!), and eats. The only thing she doesn't do at that speed is talk which I know in a way I should enjoy because I can already tell she is going to be one of "Those Children" who spend their days toddling behind you saying "What's that?" and "Why?" the entire time their eyes are open. So in that regard, I'm okay with no talking. On the other hand, it does nothing to help alleviate her frustration and unreasonable expectations when it comes to understanding what she wants. I can only imagine how frustrated she must get with me and yes, it's completely directed at me since I am the sole person with her Monday thru Friday. But I gotta tell ya, after the 3rd tantrum before 8 am, I'm right up there with her level of frustration and that's when it gets out of control and I feel so bad afterwards because every once in a while, I figure out what it was and it was something so simple. By that time, she's been screaming at me, I'm yelling at her to please be quiet and stop, and the parrot is trying to drown both of us out with his impression of a car alarm at the top of his lungs which drives The Baby and I both nuts. It truly gets to be "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" around here.
On the flip side of The Baby's new independence is her sense of humor, which I love and enjoy, and the realization that I somehow as her mom elicit strong emotions out of her, both good and bad. She doesn't squeal with wild abandon with anyone else like she does with me. She doesn't run with outstretched arms and a huge smile on her face towards anyone like she does after I've worked out at the gym for an hour. There's definitely something to that. My heart swells when I realize these things but I also am scared to death because that means I have the most impact on her little heart, soul, and mind these days and I feel like I need to be careful with that kind of responsibility.
I hope tomorrow morning when the tantrums start, I can keep this last realization in mind just a little bit and try harder to keep my cool and go that extra step to understand my Baby.
My daily life has changed since I last wrote, thus the braindeadness at the day's end, in that The Baby changed from a sweet, energetic girl to a whirling dervish full of piss and vinegar. Don't get me wrong, she can still be sweet - to her daddy, her sisters, pictures of random dogs, cats, animals in general - all these things are given profuse kisses and hugs. But for me, I have to beg for some affection and when I do get it, it's in the form of a kiss with her tongue out (her idea of being funny) and a tight hug that ends with fistfuls of my hair being pulled in opposite directions. I know I shouldn't take it personally but it's so hard when it only happens to me!
So, The Baby does everything at 100 mph. That's how she moves, takes naps (what naps?!), and eats. The only thing she doesn't do at that speed is talk which I know in a way I should enjoy because I can already tell she is going to be one of "Those Children" who spend their days toddling behind you saying "What's that?" and "Why?" the entire time their eyes are open. So in that regard, I'm okay with no talking. On the other hand, it does nothing to help alleviate her frustration and unreasonable expectations when it comes to understanding what she wants. I can only imagine how frustrated she must get with me and yes, it's completely directed at me since I am the sole person with her Monday thru Friday. But I gotta tell ya, after the 3rd tantrum before 8 am, I'm right up there with her level of frustration and that's when it gets out of control and I feel so bad afterwards because every once in a while, I figure out what it was and it was something so simple. By that time, she's been screaming at me, I'm yelling at her to please be quiet and stop, and the parrot is trying to drown both of us out with his impression of a car alarm at the top of his lungs which drives The Baby and I both nuts. It truly gets to be "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" around here.
On the flip side of The Baby's new independence is her sense of humor, which I love and enjoy, and the realization that I somehow as her mom elicit strong emotions out of her, both good and bad. She doesn't squeal with wild abandon with anyone else like she does with me. She doesn't run with outstretched arms and a huge smile on her face towards anyone like she does after I've worked out at the gym for an hour. There's definitely something to that. My heart swells when I realize these things but I also am scared to death because that means I have the most impact on her little heart, soul, and mind these days and I feel like I need to be careful with that kind of responsibility.
I hope tomorrow morning when the tantrums start, I can keep this last realization in mind just a little bit and try harder to keep my cool and go that extra step to understand my Baby.
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